


make this feel real

by magnusbbanes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, M/M, Out of the Closet Alec, alec is grumpy, grumpy strangers to friends to lovers, i can't help but write magnus as kind, i tried to make them mean to each other but, they're just grumpy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6695893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusbbanes/pseuds/magnusbbanes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**HIATUS**</p><p>In order to strengthen the Accords, Alec has to marry a Downworlder. It just so happens to be Magnus. It's all for duty; at least, that's what they like to tell each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this after a friend of mine and I had a discussion about prompts we'd like to see for Malec. Hopefully, I did a pretty good job! I have a few chapters that are already written so you can be sure I will actually update this; I plan on updating the fic every two weeks or so! I hope you enjoy, you can find me on Tumblr under the username magnusbbanes!
> 
> This is dedicated to my friends Alyssa, Lynsey and Andi, who beta read this for me and have been incredibly supportive. Thank you so much <3
> 
> Rated E for future smut.

“You can’t force him into this!,” Isabelle shouts.

Alec braces himself for the oncoming storm. Their mother isn’t going to be too happy about Izzy raising her tone with her.

“Do _not_ speak to me that way, Isabelle. You do not have a say in this matter anyway, this does not just concern our family.”

“But it still concerns it directly! Alec is my brother, your _son_! You can’t let him be married off to a stranger, especially not as a political statement!”

“I am not having this conversation with you. Leave us,” Maryse says, her tone strict as ever.

Alec is pinching the bridge of his nose, staying a few feet away from the two women, trying to make himself as discreet as possible. He knows that when Isabelle leaves, their mother will talk about this again with him, and he’s really not up for it. As expected, Maryse turns around to face him. He straightens himself, looking her directly in the eye.

“Now that your sister is gone, we can have a peaceful conversation,” she says, smiling.

Alec crosses his arm, although he knows his mother hates it when he does. She always scolds him about how it makes him look like he’s not open to conversation. She’s not wrong. Most of the time, he isn’t.

“I know that this is very unpleasant business, Alec,” Maryse says, getting closer and touching his shoulder. “But I’m sure you get it. You know that it is your duty. Isabelle isn’t mature enough to see it, but-”

“You know, mother, I really wish you wouldn’t… criticize Izzy like this. We’re not talking about her right now,” he says, trying to not sound too snappy.

Alec really hates it, the way their mother always finds a way to throw Isabelle under the bus. They’ve both been raised with a lot of expectations placed on them, but the more time passes, the less he finds their parents’ harshness legitimate.

Maryse’s lips go tight for a second, before she smiles again.

“You’re right, we’re not talking about her,” she says, and leads him by the arm through the Institute.

“As I was saying,” Maryse starts again while they’re strolling through empty corridors, “I know you’re wise enough to understand why this is important. The Accords are getting more and more fragile, and this seems like an excellent solution to solve the issue.”

Alec wants to say _Why does it have to be me? Why can’t someone else do it? I’m not fit for this, this is not my kind of part,_ but he stays silent.

“I understand, mother,” he says, keeping his tone as collected as possible, when really, he’s shaking on the inside.

“I know this is hard to wrap your mind around, but I promise you that it’s for the best of all of us here.”

“I know.”

Maryse smiles, her eyes crinkling at the sides. Alec wishes that his mother’s happiness in this situation could genuinely make him happy as well, but it really doesn’t. He knows about fulfilling his duty, he’s been doing it his entire life. Never a step out of line (unless Jace, Clary or even his sister drags him into something), never a show of disobedience, and yet… Here he finds himself. Having to make a huge personal sacrifice for the good of two large communities who despise each other.

“You’re a good man, Alec,” his mother says, her voice soft. “It feels strange to me, saying that you’re a man, but… You are. I’m very proud of you for this.”

Alec forces a smile. She kisses him on the cheek, and walks away, saying that they’ll see each other at dinner, before she leaves back for Idris. Alec sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. At least he has something new to tell Jace about.

 

**

 

“What?! No. No no no no. That’s crazy man. You can’t get married,” Jace says, the shock on his face so great it’d almost make Alec laugh.

“Tell me about it,” he replies, taking a seat on Jace’s bed.

Jace is pacing up and down his room, looking like he’s racking his brain for a solution. Alec knows there’s none.

“There has to be something we can do,” his friend says. “Did Maryse tell you who you’re engaged to?”

“Nope, not a word. All I know is it’s going to be a Downworlder.”

Jace comes and sits down next to him, his fingers tightly knit together, his knuckles becoming white.

“Shit… Well. Let’s hope it’s to a guy, at least. Might make it better than if it is to a girl.”

“It won’t make it better if we hate each other on principle, Jace.”

The blond sighs. It warms Alec’s heart to see that Jace is as panicked - if not more - as he is. It makes him feel less alone.

“We’ll find a way out of this,” Jace says, moving his legs up and down like he’s stressed, “we always find a way.”

Alec smiles, wishing that was true.

**

 

Alec tells the news to Clary. She looks profoundly disturbed.

“I’m sorry to say this, Alec, but… This is just _wrong_. You can’t be married off like that.”

Alec sighs. Everyone keeps telling him that, like it should be obvious to him; the problem is, he can’t think about anything else but what he has to do. He hasn’t been raised under Shadowhunter law and ideology to put his personal desires at the forefront.

“Clary-,” he starts, but she shuts him up by raising a hand between the two of them.

“No! I know what you’re going to say. That I’m too sensitive, that spending my life with mundanes was a mistake because I’m too _soft_ to deal with that kind of stuff, but… I care about you, okay? It’s not fair, what’s happening to you.”

She walks toward the nearest wall and lets herself slide down it, sitting with her legs stretched in front of her. Alec can’t quite believe how miserable she seems to be. He goes to her and sits down next to her. Clary’s eyes are shining, but she’s not crying. Alec knows that look, has gotten used to it. It’s the look she gets when the fierce side of her shows itself to the world. He smiles, and takes her hand with his, intertwining their fingers together.

“Heads, Clary. Not hearts.”

Clary looks at him, her expression making his heart break a little. She sighs, and puts her head to his shoulder.

 

**

 

Dinner with their mother goes by in silence, although Alec can feel rage radiating off of Isabelle’s body. Her hands grip the silverware tight, and her jaw is set tight. Alec wonders if he’s ever seen her look this angry before.

She leaves for her room without a word to Maryse, and Alec knows full well that she’ll be regretting it in the morning. He accompanies their mother to the main hallway of the Institute, her arm locked with his.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you, Alec,” she says once they get there, smoothing the folds of his shirt with her palms.

Alec takes a breath and sighs, readying himself for another blow.

“Your father and I have been very adamant about finding you someone who would… appeal to your taste,” she says, the shadow of a grimace on her face.

“You mean a guy,” Alec says plainly.

“Yes,” Maryse says, like she hadn’t realized she could simply say it that way. “We know the whole thing is probably uncomfortable for you, so we made sure the Clave knew that marrying you to a girl would make you feel even worse, and that we couldn’t allow that.”

Alec makes a small smile. When he’d come out, he had certainly not imagine that this situation would present itself. But now, he’s glad he’s done it, even though it had scared him more than anything then.

“However,” his mother continues, “your fiancé is not- your father and I- let’s just say we didn’t manage to argue against the choice the Clave has made.”

Alec’s attention is blocked on the word “fiancé”. It feels like he hadn’t realized until his mother said that word that this was really happening. _I’m gonna get married_. He focuses his attention back on Maryse, who’s staring at him.

“You’re engaged to Magnus Bane. It pains me to even say it.”

“Magnus Bane? You mean, the High Warlock of Brooklyn?”

His mother sighs, looking hurt.

“Yes, that’s the one. The Clave agrees that he is one of the most renowned representatives of the Downworld, and that marrying the two of you could not only assure peace, but an actual, working alliance.”

Alec knows Magnus by reputation. He is hundreds of years old, powerful and extravagant, and much like any of the downworlders, he has infinite distrust for the Shadowhunters. Not that it isn’t reciprocated.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see how this news is supposed to make me feel even more anxious,” Alec says.

“Magnus Bane is a true Don Juan, and he is prone to _colorful_ behavior. I’m sure once you know him, you’ll understand why I’m warning you about him.”

Alec sighs.

“It’s not like this is for love, mother. If he’s as insufferable as you say he is, I won’t be spending much time with him.”

Maryse smiles. “I have no doubt you’ll know what to do. I have to leave now, but I’ll be back soon to plan the ceremony.”

She kisses him lightly on the cheek and leaves him alone in the main entrance, to wonder about who exactly Magnus Bane is.

 

**

 

For the next few days, Alec asks around the Institute for more information on Magnus. He often gets the same keywords; “pompous”, “glittery”, “know-it-all” and “handsome” are some of them.

Isabelle, though still mad about the whole thing, chuckles when he tells her he’s to marry the warlock.

“I’ve been to parties where he was at,” she says, smirking. “You won’t get bored, big brother.”

“I don’t plan on spending all of my time with him, Izzy. I’m sure we’ll have some official stuff to get to together, but apart from that…”

As for Jace, he laughs out loud when he hears Magnus’ name.

“Knowing you, you’re gonna hate the guy. He’s way too… _out there_ for you to like him.”

“Like I said,” Alec sighs, “I’m not gonna try to like him. Not only is he a downworlder, but this is a diplomatic gesture. This isn’t about developing feelings.”

Jace looks pained by his words.

“As much as the idea of you marrying someone who’s the complete opposite of what you are makes me laugh,” he says, putting a firm hand on Alec’s shoulder, “I still think this is wrong. What if you find someone who you actually like, and you can’t do anything about it because you’re in this mess?”

Alec looks at his friend with a mix of affection and sadness. He hadn’t actually realized that Jace cared so much, but he figures it’s only normal. They’re brothers after all, _parabatais_.

“We’ve talked about this, Jace. You know how I am.”

“Just because you think it’ll never happen doesn’t mean it won’t, Alec,” Jace says, frowning.

Jace might be right, but Alec knows what he’s devoted his life to. He doesn’t believe he’ll ever find someone to pursue a romantic relationship with, simply because he doesn’t want to be distracted from his duty as a Shadowhunter. Alec has seen what love makes people do, what those kind of strong emotions turn them into. He refuses that for himself.

His mother comes back a week later, and keeps Alec all to herself in her study. She asks him about colors, about decorations, about music for the wedding. He can’t quite believe that she’s pretending that this just a regular ceremony. There’s nothing sentimental about it, so Alec doesn’t see why they should bother setting any kind of atmosphere for it. But he understands why she’s doing it. It’s easier for Maryse to act like the situation is a happy one worth working on, instead of something of an obligation to prevent war.

Still very begrudgingly, Isabelle and Clary are the ones who make Alec try on suits for the wedding, trying to figure out which one looks best on him. They say they all do, and that it’s hard to decide, and although their compliments make him smile, Alec doesn’t care. The more the day of the wedding approaches, the less he trusts that it is a good thing. He can’t back out of this, though. He’s never had something this important to do, something that means so much to hundreds of people. Just thinking about it makes him lose his breath.

 

**

 

It’s the day of the ceremony, and Alec still hasn’t met Magnus Bane. He knows the warlock has been in contact with his parents and other members of the Clave, but it annoys him that they still haven’t been introduced. It’s the least that could have happened before today, but he’s been denied even that.

Isabelle, Jace and Clary come into the room he chose to wait in, all looking dashing. Their good looks can’t hide how anxious they seem, though.

“How are you feeling?,” Izzy asks him, taking him in her arms.

They break apart and the look on her face makes Alec genuinely sad.

“I’m okay. It’s going to be fine.”

He’s reassuring himself as much as he’s trying to reassure them. Jace comes up to him and gives him a tight hug, a hand resting on the back of Alec’s neck.

“I’m here for you, _parabatai_ ,” Jace says, and Alec can hear a slight tremor in his voice.

“You know I’m not dying, right? I’m still gonna be here when this is over.”

Jace chuckles and backs away.

“I just wanna make sure you know I’m by your side in this.”

“I know you are.”

Clary hugs him as well, and she sniffles against his chest.

“Please don’t ruin my shirt,” Alec says, chuckling.

“I’m sorry,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “This is dumb, I shouldn’t cry, it’s probably making you feel worse.”

“It’s okay, Clary,” he says.

They all smile, albeit sadly, and leave the room. Alec takes a deep breath. He hadn’t imagined that emotions would be running so high for people other than himself and maybe Isabelle, so it warms his heart to see his friends caring this much about him and the mess he’s in.

Alec straightens his bow tie once more, just as he hears the door opening behind him. He figures it’s his mother coming in one last time before the ceremony to give him some advice, but when he turns around, it’s not Maryse who’s standing in the doorway.

He doesn’t have to ask to know who the man is. He’s got bright magenta streaks in his black hair, that are expertly coiffed on his head. His eyes have makeup on them, black smudged eyeshadow that seems to have a bit of glitter in it. As for what he’s wearing, his suit is black with silver spirals sewn into the fabric of his shirt. A long dark cape that seems to be made of velvet hangs from his shoulders.

“Hello, fiancé,” Magnus Bane says, a sly smile on his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec is left speechless for a minute. He didn’t think he would see Magnus before actually going up to the altar, and yet, the High Warlock of Brooklyn is standing right in front of him, fifteen minutes before their wedding.

“I know they say it’s bad luck to see the groom before the ceremony, but,” Magnus says, making a movement of the hand, “I couldn’t resist.”

Alec hates to admit it, but what he’s been told is true. Magnus really is a handsome man. There’s some kind of aura radiating off of him that Alec feels weirdly drawn to. Looking at the warlock, he feels rather underdressed. Magnus’ outfit might be a little unusual for a wedding, but he certainly is elegant. Alec’s suit is pearl white and he only has a simple bow-tie around his neck; in comparison, he thinks he looks rather dull.

Magnus walks toward him and looks at him up and down, circling around him to see Alec from all angles.

“What are you… doing?,” Alec asks, feeling uncomfortable by the way the warlock is staring at him.

“Well, just because I’m not hungry doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu, now, can I?”

Alec can’t help but blush slightly, though he starts to understand what everyone had told him about Magnus Bane. The three sentences he’s said to Alec so far have all been tinted by mischievousness, which tell him that Magnus isn’t a very serious individual. 

Alec coughs in his hand, uneasy. “I’m Alexan-”

“Alexander, yes. Your parents did tell me your name. It’s the one thing I know about you, other than the fact that you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Magnus says, his smile never leaving his lips.

Alec stops himself from rolling his eyes. He can feel the heat on his cheeks rising once again, so he takes a few step toward the door so Magnus won’t see the slight tint of red there.

“We should probably go,” he declares, “they’ll be expecting us soon.”

“Already?,” Magnus says, sounding disappointed. “I believe we still have at least ten minutes to ourselves before we officially ruin each other’s lives.”

Alec turns around and faces him, his brow furrowed.

“I’m guessing your opinion on this didn’t have much weight either, then.”

Magnus smirks, and starts playing with one of the many rings on his fingers, that Alec just took notice of.

“I know how to step down from a fight that I’m not going to win,” Magnus says, his voice suddenly deeper. “And as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I also know that this is the best thing to do for my people.”

Alec stares at him, looking puzzled. He had not expected Magnus to be a man bothered by issues of honor and responsibility, but it seems he is. That, at least, is something they have in common.

“So this is duty for you as well?,” he asks.

Magnus’ eyes burn with something that looks a lot like resentment, which is all wrong when paired with the smile on his lips. A chill runs down Alec’s spine.

“Nothing more,” the warlock replies.

 

**

 

They’re standing next to one another near the entrance of the hall where the ceremony takes place. Alec has to wait for Jace, who volunteered to walk him up the aisle, which made Alec incredibly happy. But now, all he feels is anxiousness and a blend of wariness and fear toward Magnus, who seems to be doing okay, his features completely undisturbed.

Jace joins them a couple of minutes after they’ve arrived. His eyes widen at the sight of Magnus.

“Well… Of course this one would be dressed like a clown.”

Magnus looks at Jace, up and down and back up again, and smirks.

“And you are?,” he says, the slightest sound of mockery in his voice.

Jace gets closer to him, enough that Alec fears he’ll have to intervene.

“I’m Jace. Alec’s  _ parabatai _ .”

Magnus looks amused.

“Ah, yes. That bond between Shadowhunters, who would die for one another on the battlefield,” he says, sounding like he’s reciting poetry. “Would you sacrifice yourself for your friend, then? Say, take his place, right here, right now?”

Jace makes a face.

“This is just a game to you, isn’t it warlock?,” he hisses, hooking a fist to Magnus’ collar.

Alec steps in and puts a hand to Jace’s chest, intimating him to take a step back.

“It’s alright, Jace. Calm down.”

Jace backs away slowly, his gaze still on Magnus, his anger showing by the way he’s standing. Magnus smooths out the folds that Jace has created at his collar, and looks at Alec.

“Are all your friends this aggressive, Alexander?,” he asks, not sounding the least bit shaken by what just happened.

Alec moves closer to him, so Jace doesn’t hear what he says.

“They may not be, but they’re all very protective,” he whispers, “so I would advise you to not provoke them. As for myself, I’m not going to put up with whatever act it is that you’re pulling. I might be determined for this to go well, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let everything pass. Far from it.”

Alec only now realizes that he’s made his hands into fists at his side, so he relaxes them and stretches his fingers. Magnus’ gaze has gone incredibly stern.

“Very well,” the warlock says, his tone colder than Alec has ever heard it during the past thirty minutes. “Then I would advise your friends to remember who you are marrying today. I’m too old to be scared by your kind, Alec Lightwood, and I’m not above breaking the official contract we’re about to sign if you or any of the other Shadowhunters show any more aggressivity toward myself or my fellow downworlders.”

Alec realizes just how truly terrifying Magnus is. There are definitely multiple sides to this man, and he gets what his mom had tried to explain a few weeks back when she’d talk to him about the warlock.

A bell chimes, startling Alec.

“It’s time,” Jace says, taking a hold of Alec’s left arm. He all but drags him toward the entrance of the hall, and they’re about to enter it when Alec shoots a backward glance at Magnus, who winks at him. It makes his blood boil.

They’re walking up the aisle in silence, although Alec is dying to get a word with Jace before his whole life changes forever. Amongst the crowd, he spots representatives of the different Downworld communities. Raphael Santiago is here, wearing a dark suit with a crimson scarf around his neck. He looks positively bored. Simon is sitting with him, and he can’t help but wave at Alec when he sees him. Sitting on the same bench is Meliorn, the Seelie knight Izzy is seeing, and then, next to him, Luke Garroway. Other downworlders are here too, probably some friends of Magnus’ as well as a few more individuals of each race. On the other side of the room is where the members of the Clave are sitting. Alec sees his mother and father looking at him with great intent; he looks away almost immediately.

They get to the altar too quickly for his liking, and before Alec knows it, a harp starts playing a soft air of music. He can feel himself shaking as Magnus enters the room and all eyes turn from him to the warlock. Alec hates himself for thinking this, but Magnus looks magnificent. His walk is slow and ephemeral, and he’s holding his head high, his cape flowing; he looks like a god amongst mortals.

It seems like it only takes a second for Magnus to reach him, because Alec blinks and suddenly the warlock is standing in front of him. Magnus holds out his hands to him, and Alec takes them, after the initial shock wears off.

“Today,” comes the cavernous voice of the Silent Brother standing not far from the altar, “Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, and Alexander Lightwood, Shadowhunter, will join each other in marriage.”

Alec knows his hands are shaking, but as instantly as he was becoming self-conscious about it, Magnus’ fingers tighten their grip on his. Alec shoots him a look, and Magnus gives him a small nod that almost feels encouraging. There is no understanding the warlock.

“This ceremony is historical, as it will officially unite Shadowhunters and Downworlders, in a way that the entirety of the Shadow World hopes will create long lasting peace.”

_ Historical _ . Alec feels like his chest is going to explode with every word the Silent Brother utters. He knows the Lightwood name is part of the Shadowhunter History, knows that his name is bigger than him. But he’s never wanted to make his own mark on History. He doesn’t want his name written down in books, or on memorial plaques. Alec isn’t after fame, which is exactly what this wedding is going to give him.

“I can’t breathe,” he whispers, low enough that only Magnus can hear him.

The warlock looks genuinely concerned at that.

“A few more minutes, Alec. A few more minutes, and this’ll all be over.”

_ Or it’ll only be the start _ . He takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders, his eyes still staring into Magnus’. There’s something in the man’s gaze that he doesn’t understand, a spark that he can’t equate to anything that Magnus could possibly be feeling in this instant.

Suddenly, Alec feels Jace’s hand on his shoulder. He lets go of Magnus’ hands and turns around, taking the gold bracelet that Jace is presenting to him on a silk cushion. Their gaze lock for a few seconds, and this time, Jace is the one who nods at Alec. It helps in calming him down.

When he turns his attention back to Magnus, the warlock is looking straight at him, showing his right wrist to Alec. Slowly, with his hands still trembling, Alec slips the jewel on Magnus. The bright gold of the bracelet looks beautiful over the warlock’s bronze skin. Soon, Alec is wearing a similar one around his own wrist, and he and Magnus join hands again.

“In the tradition followed by all Shadowhunters, Alec Lightwood will now mark himself with the Wedded Union rune. A rune on the heart.”

_ This is real _ , Alec thinks.  _ There’s no going back now _ . He turns toward the altar, and takes his stele. The object feels heavy in his hand, heavier than it’s ever felt before. Without turning back to the audience, he opens the top buttons of his shirt and reaches inside of it, gaining access to his skin. He copies the drawing of the rune into his flesh, which sears instantly. The burn feels more intense than all the other times Alec has had to draw a rune on himself. He figures it has to be his imagination. He hastily closes the buttons of his shirt and turns back toward Magnus, who hasn’t stopped staring at him since the beginning of this procedure.

“Now, as is done by warlocks, the two betrothed will share energy through the joining of their hands. Magnus Bane will be in charge of the process.”

Magnus holds his hands out to Alec again. He takes a few seconds before taking a hold of them, and Magnus intertwines his fingers with Alec’s.

“Do not look away, Alexander,” he orders, his tone serious, his eyes staring right into Alec’s.

Alec swallows hard. Suddenly, he feels warm all over, and the palm of his hands are tingling. He wants to look at them, see what’s going on, but Magnus’ eyes look dark and deep, and he finds himself unable to look at anything else, even though he wants to. Alec feels dizzy, and like his legs are going to give out. Something tightens in his chest, and for the second time in a short while, he’s under the impression that all the air has been forcefully taken from his lungs.

A few more seconds pass, and then, it’s over. Magnus is still holding his hands, and Alec feels like it helps ground himself back into the moment. A smile is playing on Magnus’ lips, but this one looks sad. Alec frowns, and before he gets to understand what is happening, Magnus’ hands find themselves on his face, and the warlock is kissing him. It’s a tender kiss, one that makes Alec’s heart skip a beat and then go ten times faster than it usually does. His breath is taken away for the third time.

When they part, he doesn’t know if the silence in the room could be more deafening, but suddenly Izzy is standing up and clapping wildly, although she’s not smiling. More people join in, until the whole crowd is clapping for them.  _ I’m married _ , Alec realizes. He puts a hand to his shirt, right over where he’s drawn the marriage rune. He’s married, and it is burned into his skin; one of the most sacred runes of all, carved into his flesh for life. Alec feels the ghost of Magnus’ lips on his, and glances back at the warlock, whose smile couldn’t be any wider.  _ It’s all for show _ , Alec thinks.  _ He isn’t happy about this, but he has to entertain _ .

“Congratulations, son,” Alec’s father says as he walks up to them, a spring in his step, “what you did for the Shadow World today will not be forgotten.”

These words remind Alec that this isn’t about him, or what he might have wanted. This is for the greater good. He finds no comfort in that.

“Magnus,” his mother says, joining them a few seconds after Robert, “you look quite…”

“Amazing?,” Magnus says, smiling. “Well, I figured that just because I don’t want to do something doesn’t mean I can’t look good while doing it.”

Maryse’s gaze goes harsh on the warlock. She turns toward Alec, her features getting soft the moment her eyes lay on him.

“You did so good, today, Alec,” she says, her voice sounding a bit choked, “I’m so very proud of you.”

Alec doesn’t remember the last time his parents gave him so many praises in such a short amount of time, so he smiles, not asking for more.

“The Clave and representatives of the Downworld will be expecting you two in a few minutes,” Robert says. “Be ready.”

Magnus chuckles quietly, like the idea of him not being ready for a confrontation sounds ridiculous. Alec doesn’t miss the look that his father shoots at the warlock, something like annoyance and disdain.

His parents leave them, letting Clary, Jace, Simon and Isabelle come near. They don’t have much to say, although Alec imagines they’ll be less tongue-tied when they get to talk with him privately. Jace hugs him, Clary squeezes his hand, Simon manages to look both solemn and beaming, and Alec tries to think of a time when Isabelle looked this heartbroken. She’s tight-lipped, tears brimming at her eyes. She takes a deep breath through her nose.

“Alec,” she starts, before choking up and letting herself fall into his arms, holding him tightly. “Don’t let this ruin you,” she whispers into his ear, and he tightens his grip on her shoulders.

“I won’t. I promise.”

Isabelle takes a step back, tears all but gone from her eyes. She stares at Magnus.

“I have nothing against you,” she says, her voice incredibly serious. “If anything, I’ve been telling my parents that we should stop treating downworlders like they’re inferior to us for ages.”

“Well, that’s a wonderful sentim-”

“ _ However _ ,” she cuts the warlock off, “if anything should happen to my brother while he’s with you… I will rain hell down on you.”

Magnus smirks.

“I have no doubt that you will,” he replies. “But don’t fear. I have no plans when it comes to dear Alexander here.”

Izzy’s face lights up with a smile Alec knows well, the one she makes when she gets to have what she wants.

“Good,” she says, her tone infinitely more engaging. “Congratulations to you two, then.”

She kisses Alec’s cheek and leaves. They find themselves all alone in the hall.

“Fierce, your sister,” Magnus says. “Just like you. I like it.”

 

**

 

The most important members of the Clave, the representatives sent by the Downworld communities, as well as Alec’s parents, are all sitting around a large table, staring at the newly wedded couple. Alec can feel the weight of their gaze on his shoulders, and the expectations they have make his heart feel heavier in his chest.

“As we all know,” a man from the Clave starts, “today marks an unprecedented beginning to an alliance that the Shadow World should have been seeking a long time ago.”

_ But it had to be me _ , Alec thinks. All of this, and it had to befall him, when they all seem to know that this could have been done years ago.

“These two gentlemen have made a great sacrifice today,” the man continues, “but we all have our parts to play in this. While they represent a new hope for the well being of our communities, it is the duty of all of us here to ensure that no further conflict arises after this historical day.”

Alec hears Raphael Santiago chuckling softly.

“I do hope you mean those words, Shadowhunter, and that they’re not just empty, as they usually are.”

The Clave side of the room seems to tense up, and Alec realizes that nothing is done yet. There seems to be an invisible line in the room, separating Shadowhunters from Downworlders, much like there always has been.  _ This is all for show _ , he says to himself again.  _ We’re still at each other’s throats, no matter our good intentions _ .

“I believe the Shadowhunters are ready to show genuine trust in us, Raphael,” comes Magnus’ voice, “which is why we should also put our faith in their hearts.”

Raphael straightens up in his seat. He watches Magnus with an air of contempt around him. Alec guesses that the vampire doesn’t completely trust the warlock either. In fact, no one in the room trusts each other. How is this supposed to work at all?

“Now, if we’re finished, which I think we are, I would like to get a moment with my husband, if you all don’t mind.”

Something catches in Alec’s throat when he hears Magnus say the word “husband”. It seems his mind hasn’t put itself in sync with what’s been happening just yet.

They’re quickly left alone, again, and Magnus turns his attention toward him.

“Well,” he starts, his lips twitching, like he’s trying to hold back a smile. “It’s done.”

The warlock clasps his hands together, looking down and then back up again toward Alec’s face.

“Why did you kiss me, earlier?,” Alec says, bluntly. He takes himself by surprise for asking.

Magnus chuckles softly. It’s a nice sound, coming from someone who can be as dangerous as he is.

“I thought it’d calm you down,” he replies. “You were  _ really _ tensed; and I hoped it would show them that we’re ready to make this work.”

The kiss had done nothing to calm Alec down. If anything, it had made him panic more, if that was possible. Magnus’ eyebrows are drawn together, like he’s worried about the reasons for Alec’s question.

“And you didn’t think that something else would work just as well? It didn’t have to happen. I’ve got a rune on my heart, and you did whatever it is that you did with your magic. It wasn’t necessary.”

He doesn’t mean for his tone to be so harsh, or maybe he does, he’s not sure. He just hadn’t imagined that his first kiss ever would be with a man he’s in an arranged marriage with.

Magnus’ gaze looks hard. “I can promise you it won’t happen again. They wanted a show, we gave them one.”

Alec gulps. The confirmation of his thoughts, of the whole thing being nothing more than a scam to smooth everybody’s tempers, doesn’t make him feel any happier.

“We’ll find ways to prove to them that we can be good ambassadors for this noble cause,” Magnus continues. “Ways that won’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

Alec can’t imagine himself not being uncomfortable in any situations that involve him prancing around with Magnus, pretending that all is well in their world.

“I won’t be doing any more than what needs to be done, Magnus.”

The warlock stares at him, his features impenetrable.

“Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it either.”

Magnus turns away from him, and with wide gestures, conjures up a portal.

“I’ll be leaving now,” he says, then looks back at Alec. “Go back to your friends. They probably cannot wait to tell you their impressions of me.”

In an instant, he disappears through the purple fumes of the portal. Alec only then realizes that his heart has been beating furiously inside his chest since the start of their conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little explanation on the rune thing before anyone asks: in 1x12, we hear that the Wedded Union rune is supposed to be applied on the wrist and on the heart. Lydia was going for Alec's wrist before Magnus walked in, so I assumed she would have been the one with the rune on the heart. Because I wanted to have a mix of their traditions (although what Magnus does is totally out of my imagination), I decided that Alec would have the rune over his heart. So there you go!  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, stay tuned for the next one very soon ;)


	3. Chapter 3

The few days that follow don’t anchor themselves into Alec’s memory. He only knows that he sees a lot of faces that he doesn’t recognize, shakes a lot of hands and gets a lot of pats on the shoulders, and the word “congratulations” echoes in his ears. The only people who matter are his friends, and for the first time ever, Alec is happy that they won’t leave him alone.

They often ask him if he’s okay. He never answers negatively, not because he’s lying, but because he doesn’t exactly know how he feels. In retrospect, everything had happened so fast. People constantly reminding him that he’s now a married man isn’t what hits him the hardest. When Alec practices archery and lifts his bow up to aim, the bracelet around his wrist shows up from under his sleeve, and he gets distracted by its significance for a minute or two. When he takes off his shirt before going to take a shower or to sleep, his hand goes to the rune over his heart, and he traces its lines slowly, still remembering the way it had burned itself into his skin.

Worst of all, Alec thinks about Magnus’ lips on his more than he should. It isn’t about the warlock himself, or the way the kiss had made his heart skip a beat. It is more about the fact that it had been his first kiss, ever, and that it had happened in a situation he never wanted for himself. He thinks about Magnus’ words a lot, too. “ _ They wanted a show, we gave them one _ ”. A kiss with no feeling for an union with no love - how very fitting. The more he thinks about it, the more Alec realizes that he’s angry. He somewhat understands what Magnus had tried to do by kissing him, but they didn’t know each other, and still don’t. And even if Alec doesn’t believe he’ll ever find someone who might want to kiss him out of love, Magnus had robbed him of that first, unforgettable time. Thinking about this too often, for too long, makes Alec taste bile in the back of his throat.

 

**

 

Alec is practicing boxing when Jace comes to tell him that their parents are about to leave, and that they’d like a few words with him in private. He puts his sweatshirt over his torso, zips it up, and follows Jace out of the training room.

“So…,” his friend starts as they’re walking through the corridors, “do you have any news? From the warlock, I mean. It’s been two weeks, now.”

Alec just shakes his head. Magnus hasn’t tried to contact him ever since the wedding, and he’s glad. He’s still shocked by the fact that he’s married, even more so to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He needs time; an absurd amount of it, if he is honest with himself.

“It’s good that he’s leaving you alone. If he’d been pushy and annoying…”

Jace’s voice trails off as they reach the door to their parents’ study.

“I’ll be waiting outside,” Jace says, very matter-of-factly.

Alec does not protest. He walks into the room. Maryse and Robert are behind the desk, Maryse sat in front of a bunch of heavy books, Robert looking over her shoulder, his eyes clinging to the words on the pages. They don’t instantly look up when they hear him walking in, so Alec takes it as an invitation to go and sit down at the other side of the desk. When he thinks about it, he’s surprised that his parents are even still here. He’d thought that they’d leave no more than two days after the wedding.

“Alec,” Maryse says, finally looking up from her tome, “how are you today, sweetheart?”

_ Sweetheart? _ Alec hasn’t heard his mom call him that since he’s officially joined the Institute, which is… a long time ago.

“I’m fine,” he responds. “I’m still… processing.”

His parents both make an expression that looks a lot like pity, and Alec wants to leave the room immediately.

“We stayed to make sure that you were alright,” Robert says. “You’ve been holding up great, son.”

“Well I mean, I wasn’t in an accident,” Alec starts. “I got married. I don’t think that calls for a mental breakdown.”

Except he knows that in this situation, it might. He realizes that if it’d been any one of the others who’d gotten married, the whole ordeal wouldn’t have gone so smoothly. They would all have put up a fight. But Alec didn’t.  _ Everything for the Institute. _

“In any case, we’re very proud of you,” his mother says, reaching toward him to hold the hand he’s put on the desk. “What you did was very brave.”

She smiles, so he smiles too, albeit not heartily.

“We wanted to talk to you before leaving. About Magnus.”

Alec nods. He had guessed it already. His parents apparently never run out of things to tell him about the warlock.

“One of the reasons we didn’t want you to be married to him is…”

Robert pauses. He seems truly hesitant to finish his sentence, but Maryse gives him a look that clearly says that he has to go on.

“Magnus Bane is a lothario. It’s common knowledge, even amongst us Shadowhunters. He’s hundreds of years old, so he has found…  _ ways _ to occupy himself as the years go by.”

Alec stares at his father. He’s not sure why he’d need to know that, or why his parents seem to think that it’s some sort of life-or-death information.

“I… don’t plan on caring about what he does. Our marriage is political, right? Him entertaining himself means nothing to me.”

Both his parents make a face.

“We’re telling you this because we think that he might take advantage of your contract to… ask  _ something _ of you,” his mother says, obviously uncomfortable by the fact that she had to clarify.

“Oh,” is all that Alec manages to reply.

“All we need of you now, apart from appearing with the warlock to social events every now and then, is to be careful. He’s a charmer, and he’s cunning. He might not take no for an answer,” Robert says, his tone stern.

This makes Alec gulps. He’s scared that there might be some truth to what they’re saying, but Magnus had assured him that nothing like the kiss would ever happen again. Surely, that also meant all the things that can happen after a kiss.

“I’ll be careful,” he promises.

His parents smile and move over to his side of the desk to hold him. They kiss him on the cheek and tell him goodbye. He nods and exits the room, a strange feeling buzzing inside his chest.

 

**

 

“You would tell me, if he tried anything funny with you, right?,” Jace asks, the worry in his eyes almost overwhelming.

Alec sighs. “Yes, I would, but I honestly don’t think he’ll ever make a pass at me. He seemed pretty honest when he said he wouldn’t.”

“He’s a warlock. They’re tricksters. He might have lied.”

Alec doesn’t reply. Everyone around him seems really worked up about the fact that he’s married to Magnus out of all the Downworlders. It doesn’t change a thing for him; Magnus or someone else, he would have still had to sacrifice his personal life for the sake of the Shadow World.

They’re making their way back to the main room when they see a purple portal materializing in the middle of it, and Magnus coming out of the fumes. He’s wearing an electric blue silk shirt with a shawl wrapped around himself, black and shimmery. He has on a pair of leather pants, and from where he’s standing, Alec can see that the boots he’s wearing have block heels.

“I need to see Alexander,” is the first thing he says, while everyone is staring at him in shock.

Jace shoots a look at Alec, and they hurry their pace.

“What is it, Magnus?,” Alec says when they reach the warlock, unable to make his voice anything but annoyed.

“What a lovely tone to adopt for our reunion,” Magnus says, snarky.

Alec crosses his arms and looks at the warlock. He’s got a thick layer of eyeliner on, with what looks like silver glimmer at the corner of his eyes. Alec won’t say so out loud, but Magnus can really pull off makeup.

“There’s something important we need to discuss, and I would like to do it privately,” the warlock says, before holding out his hand toward Alec.

The portal is still active behind him, and probably leads to Magnus’ place. Alec swallows hard.

“And we can’t do it here because… ?”

Magnus chuckles.

“It’s nothing personal, I promise,” he says, and Jace quietly snorts next to them. “I just feel that there are too many ears around here, and I want us to be somewhere calm.”

Alec frowns. Magnus’ features betray no ulterior motives. His eyes look soft, despite the dark makeup he’s wearing. Alec takes one step toward Magnus, but Jace interrupts his movement by putting a hand to his chest.

“What do you think I’m gonna do, Shadowhunter?,” Magnus asks, a smirk drawing itself on his lips, “kidnap your friend? Cut his head off his shoulders and send it back to you in a box? Come on now.”

Jace stares at Magnus for a few more seconds, before glancing at Alec. Alec lifts his eyebrows slightly, hoping Jace will understand that he doesn’t have to be this worried. Jace nods, and leaves toward the training room.

Magnus stares back at Alec, and makes a slight movement of the hand, intimating him to take it. Alec passes him by without a word and goes into the portal.

 

**

 

Magnus’ loft is just as fancy as Magnus himself. It’s richly decorated, with warm colors all over the place, and there’s a faint odor of incense that Alec finds very pleasing. For some reason, he’d thought that the atmosphere in it would resemble the one of the Pandemonium nightclub, but it really doesn’t. Alec feels comfortable the moment he takes a few steps into the living room, and he hates it.

“Welcome,” Magnus’ voice comes from behind him. “I did a bit of cleaning up before you came over. I didn’t want my husband thinking that I live in a pigsty.”

Alec feels the muscles in his back tense up when he hears Magnus say the word “husband”. He really wishes he wouldn’t. It makes no sense to use it in the context of their relationship. A more appropriate word would be associates.

Magnus skirts by him and goes toward a cabinet, taking two glasses and a bottle of something the color of topaz out of it. Alec is about to refuse the drink when Magnus hands him it, so he takes it anyway. Magnus goes to clink their glasses together but Alec turns away, walking toward the gigantic window of the room. He looks out at the city in front of him, feeling like he’s a world away from it, which isn’t false, technically. But here, in Magnus’ loft, it becomes even truer.

“I thought we should discuss the terms of our relationship,” the warlock says behind him.

Alec turns to look at him, to find Magnus sitting on the sofa, already staring at him.

“I don’t really see what needs to be said. We both know we’re not in this to become friends.”

Something goes through Magnus’ features for an instant, something Alec doesn’t understand.

“The thing, dear Alexander,” Magnus says, sighing as he puts his glass down on the coffee table, “is that we are now both carrying the weight of tremendous expectations on our shoulders. It was already the case for me before, and I suspect it was for you as well. But we can’t afford to be selfish just because this isn’t what we wanted.”

Magnus slowly gets up, and walks toward Alec. There’s something very feline in the way he moves, Alec notices.

“If we’re to be seen together in social gatherings, representing our communities and the desire that we both share to see them at peace, well…”

He looks into Alec’s eyes. Magnus’ are of a deep brown color, almost black, but they always seem to shine. Alec finds himself having to take his attention off of them.

“We’re going to have to get to know each other.”

Alec’s eyes wander to the side, and he gulps.

“I don’t- I’m not sure I understand what you-”

Magnus chuckles.

“Don’t worry, Alec. I won’t make you spend the entirety of your days with me - although you must know I make for great company. I just think it’s for the best if we at least try to understand each other on some level.”

Magnus takes Alec’s drink from him, frowning when he notices that Alec hasn’t drunk much of it. He goes and puts it next to his on the coffee table, and sits down on the couch again.

“Right,” Alec says, looking around a bit before giving his attention back to Magnus. “I get it. You’re right.”

Magnus beams.

“I’m glad to hear you say it.”

They stare at each other in silence, and Magnus’ eyes on him make Alec feel incredibly vulnerable and bare. He only then realizes that he’s not wearing anything underneath his sweatshirt, which he knows makes him go red. He turns away and makes sure his top is zipped all the way up, before turning back to face Magnus.

“I have to go back to the Institute,” Alec says, a bit too fast.

Magnus stands up from the couch and creates a portal near where Alec is standing.

“We should get together again soon, Alexander,” he says. “I believe there’s going to be a party organized by some of the rich and mighty of the Downworld, which I’m  _ obviously _ invited to, and…”

He looks at Alec and smiles.

“I think it’s important that you come with me.”

Alec takes a breath. “Alright.”

“I’ll have to prepare you for the event. Expect news from me very soon.”

Alec nods, and without a word, goes through the portal. He materializes back into the Institute, right where he and Magnus had left earlier. He spots Jace, Isabelle and Clary working on one of the screens a few feet away.

“So,” Jace starts, already snickering, “what does the lair of the Big Bad Warlock looks like? Is it as ridiculous as he is?”

Isabelle elbows the blond in the side, who barely winces. It just makes him smile even wider.

“Nothing impressive,” Alec lies. “Let’s get back to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! There's a party coming up ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter, I know I had a lot of fun writing it! <3

When Alec announces to his friends that he’ll be attending a Downworlder party soon, all of their reactions can be summed up by shocked expressions and grumbling noises.

“We won’t let you go there by yourself,” Clary says, her hands into fists at her side.

“Clary’s right, I’m not leaving you alone in the middle of a Downworlder slumber party,” Isabelle says.

Jace just looks furious.

“Guys, it’s okay. I’ll be with Magnus.”

Alec realizes he has not phrased his sentence correctly when he catches a spark going through Izzy’s eyes.

“Oh… So you trust him now?”

He sighs, annoyed that he has to explain himself.

“No, I don’t  _ trust him _ . It’s just a side effect of our union - when we’re there, he’ll make sure none of them make any waves.”

Isabelle chuckles.

“Yeah, well, I still really want to punch him in the face for this. It’s not safe. Not so early into your partnership,” Jace says through gritted teeth.

Alec rolls his eyes.

“I’m telling you, it’ll be fine.”

Jace’s snort is of the sarcastic kind, and both the girls sigh, obviously annoyed.

 

**

 

A week later, Magnus shows up at the Institute. He’s wearing a long velvet crimson coat over an entirely black outfit, golden jewelry hanging from his neck, two shiny rings per finger catching the light. It’s impossible for Alec not to take notice of every little detail that compose Magnus’ appearance, and he knows that’s exactly Magnus’ goal.

“Alexander,” he says, smiling, “I’m happy I don’t have to look for you. Come with me.”

He’s waiting by the portal he came out of, looking straight at Alec. The hunter makes his way toward Magnus, but before he has a chance to say anything, Isabelle appears next to them.

“He told us what you’re here for,” she says, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Don’t worry, dear,” Magnus replies, “the party isn’t until tomorrow. I promise your brother will be back by your side way before nightfall. At least, today.”

Izzy looks the warlock up and down and up again, before shrugging. 

“Alright,” she simply says. She squeezes one of Alec’s arms and leaves them, going back to work behind her computer.

“Come on, Alexander,” Magnus says, turning toward the portal, “I’ll try to make this quick.”

Alec follows him into the fumes, keeping his questions for later.

 

**

 

“Take a seat,” Magnus says the moment they appear into his loft. “I’ll make us drinks.”

Alec wonders why Magnus insists on acting like a charming host toward him, when he himself hasn’t tried to be more than civil to him. He guesses the warlock is too used to entertaining people to drop the act with him.

“As I told you the other day,” Magnus says, coming toward Alec who took a seat on the couch, “a lot of renown Downworlders will be attending the party tomorrow.”

He sets their drinks down on the coffee table, before taking a seat on the armchair near the sofa. Alec appreciates Magnus keeping his distance.

“I know them all,” he says. “They’re just like me; hundreds of years old, and very bored with their lives. I can assure you, you’ll be the most interesting thing they’ll see at the event.”

Magnus takes a sip of his cocktail. Alec puts his hands together, slouching forward, and glances at the warlock.

“So what you’re saying is…”

“They’ll be all over you, most likely,” Magnus finishes his thought. “So I have to make it my job to keep them off of you. But you have to promise that you won’t be acting out either.”

Alec rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not like Jace. You’re lucky he’s not the one you’re taking with you.”

Magnus grins.

“And I’m very thankful for that,” the warlock says, amusement shining in his eyes.

Magnus takes a swig of his drink, and gets up.

“I bought you something,” he says, very matter-of-factly.

Alec immediately frowns. He’s not sure he likes the idea of Magnus going out on a shopping spree and getting him a present.

“Really?,” he says, making the wariness in his voice abundantly clear.

Magnus snaps his fingers, and a transparent bag with what looks like to be an outfit inside of it appears on his stretched out arm. Alec narrows his eyes, and Magnus chuckles softly.

“Don’t worry,” he says, still smiling, “you won’t look as dashing as I do. But I know it’ll suit you.”

He holds out the bag toward Alec, who takes it slowly.

“Thanks, I guess,” he says, maybe a bit too cranky.

“My pleasure,” Magnus replies, sitting back down in the armchair.

For the next hour, Magnus informs him of who they can expect to see at the party, and goes into thorough detail on the likes and dislikes of each of the guests. Alec is focused, trying to remember everything that he’s told. He wants their first evening out together to go as smoothly as possible. To him, it’s a job like any other, except with stakes that seem higher than any he’s ever faced before.

It’s only when he’s about to leave that Alec realizes that he’s actually drunk the cocktail Magnus had given him when they’d arrived. Magnus also takes notice of it, and smiles.

“Was it good?,” he asks as he gathers their glasses.

“It was alright,” Alec lies. The cocktail had tasted like something right out of a dream, overwhelming with flavors that Alec had still been able to distinguish.

“That’s also something you’ll have to watch out for tomorrow,” Magnus says. “A lot of what my friends and I like to drink isn’t something anyone is used to. Even Shadowhunters.”

Alec nods. Magnus creates a portal for him, and they part without another word to each other. When Alec reappears into the Institute, Isabelle is already waiting for him on the other side of the portal.

“What is  _ that _ ?,” she says, pointing at the outfit Alec is holding on one arm.

“A gift. For tomorrow.”

She smirks. “A gift, uh?”

Alec sighs. “Don’t start.”

 

**

 

Alec is staring at himself in the mirror, straightening his jacket once again. He’s thankful that Magnus did not buy him anything too flamboyant. The shirt he has on is made of black silk that Alec isn’t used to, and the jacket over it is a more common material, but it’s got thin threads of silver lining it horizontally. Every time Alec moves, the light catches on them and gives the cloth a slight shimmer. But the clothes aren’t what impresses him the most. When he’d opened the plastic tailor bag, something had fallen to his feet before he got the chance to actually get the clothes out. Alec is now wearing it on his jacket, over his heart. It’s a brooch made of what looks like to be obsidian, with a diamond at the center of it. Alec has never owned anything like it before. He never thought he would. He suspects that this is the only thing that Magnus actually bought for him, and that the clothes come straight out of the warlock’s wardrobe, which Magnus got fitted for Alec.

A knock comes at his door.

“Come in.”

Isabelle shows up at the threshold, and she takes a few steps into his room.

“Magnus just arri-  _ Alec _ .”

He turns to find her with a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

“What?”

She hurries toward him and feels the fabric of his jacket and shirt, before touching the brooch.

“Was this part of Magnus’ gift to you? It’s  _ gorgeous _ .”

“I can give it to you when I come back, if you want it,” he says, shrugging slightly.

She gives him a gentle slap on the arm.

“It’s a wonderful gift, and it’s yours, dummy. Keep it.”

Alec makes a small smile, and adjusts his outfit one last time, as well as the jewel on his chest. He then lets Isabelle lead him out and into the corridor, walking together to the main hall of the Institute. They find Magnus waiting for him there. The warlock is wearing what looks like to be a black t-shirt, but has got strass lining the collar. Over his shirt is a thick coat made of a fabric Alec does not recognize, but that looks very soft to the touch. The coat in itself envelops Magnus’ thin silhouette like it is tailored for him, which it probably is. The bottom part of his outfit is an usual black pair of pants and boots, with no heels this time. Alec’s gaze catches on Magnus’ earrings, which are smaller versions of the clasp he’s wearing on his chest. He finds himself feeling embarrassed about it.

“Alexander!,” Magnus goes when they reach him. “I’m glad you put the outfit on. Forgive me, I doubted that you would.”

Alec feels Izzy tugging slightly on the sleeve of his jacket. He looks down toward her.

“Be careful tonight, big brother,” she whispers, before giving him a kiss on the cheek and going back to her own room.

“Ready to go? The party started thirty minutes ago already.”

“Why didn’t you come sooner, then?,” Alec asks, unable to hide his annoyance.

Magnus smirks.

“I love making an entrance.”

 

**

 

They don’t materialize in a quiet hall, or empty corridor. Instead, they appear in the middle of a gigantic ballroom, and Alec is pretty sure the golden sparks and white smoke that surround them when they come out of the portal are entirely of Magnus’ making. There is so much noise around him all of a sudden that Alec feels the need to mute it all out. In an attempt to feel a bit more aware of his surroundings, he focuses on Magnus, his movements, the sound of his voice as he greets other guests. It takes him a minute to concentrate on where he is and who’s near him.

Everyone is dressed very fashionably, much like Magnus. Alec feels glad he didn’t decide to wear his own clothes to the party. He spots a corner of the room which seems exclusively reserved to the smoking of narghile, while just a few feet away, people are waltzing to music he’s never heard before. Against one of the walls is a large buffet, with more food and drinks than Alec has ever seen in one place at once. Punch bowls are displayed here and there, and fumes of different colors escape from each beverage. He’s about to look up to see how tall the ceiling is when he feels Magnus’ hand take hold of his.

“Let me introduce you,” the warlock says.

Magnus is leading him at arm’s length toward Downworlders he has never met before. He’s surprised to find out that both vampires and werewolves are at the party tonight, entertaining each other.

“The only reason they don’t rip each other apart right here and there is because they know they’d be bored without their enemies,” Magnus whispers into his ear when he sees Alec staring at a man and a woman dancing, a werewolf and a vampire.

Alec very quickly notices the looks that his mere presence earn him. He doesn’t say or do much, trying to keep his instincts as restrained as possible in a crowd of Downworlders, but he sees the way they stare at him. It’s a mix of hunger and hatred, of lust and disgust. He feels highly uncomfortable being scrutinized this way.

He follows Magnus wherever he goes, drinks what Magnus tells him he can drink, talks to the people Magnus thinks won’t try anything against him. Alec wishes he could stop thinking that he’s being shown around like a newly acquired pet, but he can’t help it. Seeing Magnus smile, gesturing toward him, showing him off like he’s one of his prized possessions, makes his blood boil.

“He doesn’t say much, does he?,” a beautiful Seelie woman asks Magnus at one point.

“No, he doesn’t,” Magnus replies, giggling. “He does know how to put his mouth to good use, though.”

Alec freezes when he hears this, just as Magnus runs a finger alongside his jaw. The remark earns the warlock open-mouthed laughter from his audience, and he leads Alec away to another group of people.

“Don’t… talk about me that way,” Alec says through gritted teeth as they make their way to the other side of the ballroom. He still feels the ghost of Magnus’ finger against his face.

“I’m sorry, Alexander. I really am. But you need to relax,” Magnus says, his voice softer than when he was addressing the other Downworlders. “These people are thirsty for that kind of crass anecdote. It’s all for show, remember?”

There it is again.  _ All for show _ . Never mind that Alec is getting his reputation tarnished one conversation at a time. But Magnus knows more about this kind of crowd, clearly, so there’s no point putting up a fight that could ruin everything. Alec hasn’t quite calmed down when Magnus starts chatting up other guests.

“Well, Magnus… What a beautiful piece you’ve got there,” a woman says, licking at her lips in the least discreet way possible.

Magnus had loosened his hold on Alec’s hand when they’d reached the guests, but now, Alec can feel the warlock’s fingers sliding in between his. He shoots him a look that Magnus doesn’t notice.

“He is, isn’t he?,” Magnus’ voice strangely honeyed. “And my very own.”

Alec sees a flash of something fly across Magnus’ gaze, and notices that the warlock’s jaw seems tight.

“Oh… You didn’t use to be so possessive with your things, Magnus,” a man who looks to be Alec’s age purrs.

Magnus’ hand is almost crushing Alec’s now.

“I believe you’re all familiar with the concept of marriage,” he declares. “It changes things.”

A chuckle comes from behind them and they both turn around at the same time. A tall, slender woman is standing in front of them, her long crimson dress flowing to the black marble floor. Her skin is pale, a stark contrast to the rich brown of her hair falling around her face and to her shoulders.

“Now now Magnus,” she taunts, “even  _ you _ can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth right now.”

“Camille,” Alec hears Magnus say under his breath, like he can’t quite believe the sight.

The warlock’s fingers loosen their hold on Alec’s hand, and he takes a small step forward. Alec wonders for a moment if Magnus is going to grab this Camille, and hug her. He doesn’t, though. Magnus stays right by his side, visibly straightening his back, holding his head higher.

“ _ Camille _ ,” he says, louder this time, more serious.

The vampire - Alec guesses she is - smiles bright and sets her eyes on him. Something in the way she stands and in her expression tells him that he should be looking away, but he doesn’t. He takes back his hand from Magnus.

“Alec Lightwood, I presume? Or, is it Alec Bane now? No one specified.”

She hasn’t stopped smiling since they’ve started talking. Alec almost expects her fangs to come out of her mouth.

“It’s still Alec Lightwood,” he responds, making his tone as stern as possible.

Camille sniggers.

“Good. It’s for the best.”

Alec hates it, but he agrees with her.

“Alec, may I introduce Camille Belcourt,” Magnus says, his voice sounding far less enthusiastic than a few minutes before. “We’re… old friends.”

“Old friends?,” Camille says, faking surprise. “Don’t you think ‘friends’ is a tad vanilla to express what you and I had?”

She chuckles again, the sound grating Alec’s ears.  She starts moving, and she’s like a predator. Alec gulps as Camille gets closer to him, and starts toying with the brooch on his jacket.

“And what have we here?,” she says, her tone sickly sweet. “Oh,” she adds, as she quickly looks from the clasp to Magnus’ earlobes, and to the clasp again. “Isn’t that just  _ dear _ . I think he offered me something like this, too, when we got together. I don’t know what that says about him.”

She giggles, and Alec realizes it’s taking all of his strength not to take her throat into his hands and squeeze. Although it’d be totally useless, it might make him feel better. He glances at Magnus, whose gaze is set right on the floor. Alec had never imagined the warlock could look so vulnerable.

“I hope you two lovebirds enjoy the rest of your evening,” Camille says. “I know I will.” She winks at Alec, and leaves without another word to either of them.

No one around them says anything. They all seem to pretend that the conversation never happened, except they decide to not include Magnus or Alec into their new one. Magnus is looking around the room slowly, and Alec feels him at loss.

“We should go,” he simply says.

This time, he’s the one who takes a hold of the warlock’s hand, and guides them toward the tall doors at the entry of the ballroom. When they’re alone, Magnus creates a portal, with less flourish to his movements, and they leave without telling anyone.

 

**

 

“We shouldn’t have left so early,” Magnus says the moment they step into his apartment. “She’ll take it as a victory.”

Alec groans.

“What are you even- No. You know what? Nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

He suddenly feels annoyed that they’re back at Magnus’ place and not at the Institute, but he guesses that the warlock didn’t think about that when he’d made the portal.

“This is a disaster,” Magnus says. His voice isn’t particularly panicked, but his expression betrays his hurt feelings. “Our first night out after the wedding, and Camille had to go and ruin it.”

Alec wants to ask how exactly did Camille ruin their evening. He wants to ask why Magnus had seemed so broken the moment he’d seen her, or why he’d kept mostly quiet during her conversation with Alec, why he hadn’t tried to defend him like he’d promised he would. But it doesn’t matter. Alec knows that in the wide array of ways that this evening could have gone, what had happened ranked as “least terrible possibility”. Magnus looks pained though, but Alec doesn’t want to lose time trying to figure out why. He doesn’t care anyway. What he does care about, though, is the strange attitude that Magnus had exhibited every now and then at the party, when people would come and look at him a certain way. He guesses that had been the warlock’s way of making sure no one got too close, but something had been weird.

“Thanks for keeping them off of me,” he tries.

He still remembers how mad he had felt that Magnus was essentially telling him what to do and not to do at the party, and how he’d wanted to tell him that he wasn’t a child. In retrospect, Alec feels bad about those thoughts. Magnus had taken care of him on what he has always known as enemy territory.  _ That counts for something _ , he thinks.

“Don’t mention it,” Magnus says, moving his hand as if to bat away Alec’s words. “I told you. It was my job to make sure they didn’t eat you alive.”

Alec purses his lips slightly then nods. He wants to ask if Magnus is okay, if he’ll be fine for the rest of the night - just as the warlock is pouring himself a glass of wine from his cabinet.

“I’ll go, now,” Alec says.

Magnus turns around and becomes wide-eyed for an instant, like he didn’t remember that Alec is supposed to leave.

“Oh! Sure,” he responds, and creates yet another portal for him.

Alec is about to step into it when Magnus coughs. He turns to see the warlock staring at him.

“Your hand. I… crushed it earlier. I think.”

Alec can’t help the smile creeping up the corner of his lips. “Yeah. You did.”

Magnus makes a face. “Sorry about that.”

Alec looks at him, at the way he seems genuinely embarrassed, not only about Alec’s hand but about the whole evening.

He shrugs. “It’s alright.”

And before the warlock has the chance to say anything, Alec is back into the hall of the Institute.


	5. Chapter 5

Alec is rushing into the Institute’s main study, carrying Jace in his arms. Out on a mission in the Underground, they found an artifact that none of them had ever seen before. Jace had decided to touch it, despite Alec telling him that it was a bad idea. And now, here they are. Jace is completely unconscious, apart from his eyeballs moving frantically under his closed eyelids. Isabelle clears the great desk so Alec can put their brother down. Behind him, he hears Clary’s panicked voice.

“Magnus? They told me to call you- It doesn’t matter who’s “they”! Jace is… Something happened, we don’t know what to do, come quick please!”

“Magnus?,” Alec repeats, spinning around to look at her. “No. Clary, hang up right now, we don’t need him.”

Clary stares at him with fire in her eyes. Alec grumbles and turns back toward Jace, who’s still not moving at all. He doesn’t seem to be in pain, but Alec can’t help but worry. If only the idiot had listened to him, this wouldn’t be happening. All of a sudden, a portal appears next to Isabelle, who jumps. Magnus comes out of it, his hair barely coiffed, silver glitter on his lids. He’s wearing a simple black jacket over a white silk shirt, and black pants with vertical grey lines.

“I hope this truly is an emergency,” he says, not looking at anyone but Jace, rushing toward him. “I look a _mess_."

No one says anything at that, although Alec knows if Jace was awake, he would have snorted. Magnus pats Jace’s body, takes one of his arms and feels its weight, lifting it a bit to find it incredibly limp. His legs are the same. The warlock lowers himself toward Jace’s face, and presses two fingers to his throat, listening to any noise that might be coming out of the shadowhunter’s mouth. Isabelle explains what happened as best as she can, her voice shaking.

“He has a pulse, but it’s weak,” Magnus says, straightening up. “What did the artifact look like?,” he asks, spinning toward Alec, Isabelle and Clary.

“It was something like a tablet,” Izzy says. “It had some inscriptions on it.”

“The words started glowing green when Jace got close to it,” Clary continues.

“Nobody told us we’d find anything like it down there,” Alec adds.

Magnus seems puzzled for just an instant, before turning back to Jace.

“Do you know what it is?,” Isabelle asks.

“I don’t,” Magnus replies, “so for the time being, I want all of you out of this room.”

He turns around to find that none of them have made a move, all of their eyes still clinging to Jace’s unconscious body on the desk.

“Come on, now! Out! Out!,” Magnus exclaims, shooing them away with wide movements of his arms.

Begrudgingly, they all make their way out of the room, Alec putting his hand on the small of Clary’s back to lead her out. He gives a backward glance at Magnus, whose hands are glowing, hovering over Jace’s body.

 

**

 

Two hours later, Magnus comes out of the study and into the main hall, looking exhausted. Alec and the girls don’t waste any time going up to him.

“Do you have something to drink?,” the warlock asks. “I’m thirsty and this place is really lacking in the cocktail department.”

“I’ll bring you some water,” Clary says, and leaves to the kitchen.

“How is our brother? Is he okay?,” Isabelle asks, putting her hands together and under her chin.

“He’ll survive,” Magnus replies. “It wasn’t anything serious, but Clary was right to call me. I doubt anyone here would have found out how to make him feel better.”

“So is he awake?,” Alec asks, ready to go to his parabatai’s side.

Magnus makes a face.

“Eh… Not really. He was, thirty minutes ago, but the powers he was under and my own magic have tired him out. He might need to rest for a couple of days.”

Clary is back with a glass of water for the warlock, who drains it in one long gulp.

“Ah… Thank you dear.”

He smiles at her, a genuine, caring smile that Alec doesn’t think he’s seen before.

“You said he’d be alright, but now he needs two days of rest?,” he wonders, doubt in the warlock tinting his words. “What did you do to him? And what happened before?”

Magnus chuckles.

“Calm down, Alexander. I promise you that your brother is out of harm’s way. From my expertise, the tablet you found probably wasn’t meant to be touched by someone that is not of the people who made it. Lucky for Jace, the protective spell that is into it just knocked him out. It could have been worse.”

Magnus’ words are calm and measured, and reassure Alec instantly. Next to him, both Izzy and Clary seem to relax as well.

“Can we go see him, then?,” Clary asks, sounding eager and hopeful.

“You can,” Magnus says.

Both girls smile at him and rush toward the study. Alec stays behind, staring at Magnus.

“Aren’t you going to see your brother?,” the warlock asks, surprised.

“I am,” Alec says. “I just…”

Magnus is looking at him with questioning eyes, his brows slightly furrowed. Alec takes a few step past the warlock, as if to go find his friends, before turning around and looking at him again.

“Thank you for what you did.”

Magnus’ smile is gentle.

“Of course,” he replies. “This is part of our agreement, right? Downworlders helping Shadowhunters, and vice versa?”

Alec purses his lips a little and nods.

“Sure. Thank you, in any case.”

Magnus blinks, probably as a “you’re welcome”, and Alec leaves him behind to go and be by Jace’s side.

 

**

 

After an hour of staying with Jace and getting no response from him, Alec exits the room, to find Magnus walking from screen to screen, looking over the shoulders of people working on them.

“Shouldn’t you be home?,” he asks, passing by the warlock without a glance.

He’s got to mark the spot where they found the artifact as a top priority mission, so they can all go back there with more people, and be more careful that time. Alec gets to his usual screen and zooms in on the underground map with a touch of his fingers. Magnus joins him.

“I figured since I’m the most knowledgeable person around here when it comes to magic, that it wouldn’t hurt if I stuck around for a while, looking after your friend and maybe helping with the tablet once it’s retrieved.”

Alec looks away from the screen and at Magnus. He squints.

“Is this a ploy of some kind to force us to spend more time with each other?,” he asks.

Magnus laughs.

“Well, it can’t hurt, can it? And the Institute will need me anyway, once the artifact is in the premise, so…”

The warlock looks at him with what can only be described as a pleading puppy look, although Alec guesses that even if he said no, Magnus would stay anyway. He sighs.

“Alright. We’ll find you a room to stay in.”

Magnus grins. “Fantastic,” he replies, looking way too delighted for Alec’s taste. “Lead me to it, and I’ll get some of my things to materialize there.”

“Isabelle will show you,” Alec says, turning his attention back to the screen. “Don’t overstay your welcome. This isn’t permanent.”

He doesn’t have to look at Magnus to know that this makes him go back to a more serious expression.

“I would never dream of it being so,” Magnus replies with an icy tone.

 

**

 

Over the next two days, Alec busies himself as best he can, checking up on Jace every now and then, but mostly organizing the retrieval of the tablet. He doesn’t see much of Magnus, or just in passing, and he’s thankful for it. Although he’s truly grateful to the warlock for what he’s done for his parabatai, Alec doesn’t wish to see more of him than he strictly has to. Magnus has a way of getting under his skin that Alec really dislikes. Being several hundreds of years old has obviously made Magnus very confident in who he is and what he can do, and while Alec can respect that, he also finds it extremely annoying. Of the rare times he’s seen him around the Institute, Alec can never think of anything else but how Magnus easily talks to everyone, and how he walks like he owns the place. That doesn’t sit well with Alec at all. 

_He_ owns the place. Kind of. Their marriage doesn’t include the sharing of their positions and responsibilities.

Like Magnus had predicted, Jace is awake three days after they discovered the artifact.

“What’s he doing here?,” is the first thing he asks Alec when he comes to see him in his room, pointing at Magnus who is sitting on the edge of his bed.

“I saved your life,” Magnus says, holding up a small glass bottle that Alec hadn’t noticed before. “Here,” he adds, handing the vial to Jace, “this should prevent the headache you deserve to get.”

Jace makes a face at the bottle, but takes it when he sees Alec’s insisting look.

“You’ve been out for two days,” Alec says, going to sit next to Jace.

“Yeah… I feel a little out of the loop.”

He looks between Alec and Magnus for a second, before smirking.

“So… Your husband here helped out. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, in the end,” he says, the amusement in his tone impossible to miss.

“I would have helped out anyway,” Magnus says, sighing. “I’m not the monster you’ve been made to believe I am.”

He stands up and leaves the room quietly, without another look to either of the boys. Something in Alec’s chest tightens at the thought that maybe what Magnus says is true, that maybe, he isn’t that bad.

 

**

 

Alec feels like he needs to do some introspection. After the Downworlder party and what happened to Jace, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he’s been a bit unfair toward Magnus. He knows he isn’t as rude or as aggressive as he could be, but he is aware that his attitude toward the warlock could have been a lot better. So when the tablet is finally retrieved, and everyone in the Institute agrees that Magnus should be leading the research on its origin, Alec decides that he’ll start playing nice.

He checks up on Magnus every now and then, when the latter hasn’t shown out of the study in a while. At first, he’s too hesitant to go beyond the threshold of the room, so he just quickly takes a look inside to see what Magnus is doing. If the warlock doesn’t seem too tired, Alec simply leaves. It’s only after two days that he finally decides to actually enter the room and hover not too far from Magnus and his work surface. He eventually takes tentative steps toward the great desk and looks at the many documents that Magnus has brought with him, or that he himself has written upon discovering some things about the tablet. Once, when Alec finds himself particularly interested in some of the notes the warlock has taken, he can see from the corner of his eye Magnus making a small smile in his direction before going back to work.

After very long hours of spell-breaking, Magnus lets the Shadowhunters know that the tablet can now be touched by everyone, and not just him.

“It doesn’t mean that you _have_ to touch it, but you know…,” he trails off, heading back into the study.

Alec follows him, hard on his heels.

“Did you find anything?,” he asks, his voice maybe a bit too eager.

“I suspect the artifact is of Seelie origin. They probably had no choice but to leave it where you found it, a long time ago, when the first tunnels were being built.”

Alec figures that the best course of action now that they know who the tablet belongs to is to give it back to its rightful owners. He doesn’t fancy the idea of keeping it around anyway.

“I’ll get in touch with Meliorn. He can pick it up and hand it back to their queen.”

Alec starts making his way out of the room, but right before he passes the door, he turns around.

“Magnus?,” he says, hearing his voice trembling. He coughs in his own hand, hoping it’ll help him gain some composure.

The warlock spins to face him. “Yes?”

“Thank you for all that you’ve done since you’ve arrived,” Alec says in one go, because if he pauses he thinks he might regret saying the words aloud. “Your help has been really valuable, and I don’t think any of us here could have-”

He stops himself when he sees a smirk appearing on Magnus’ lips.

“Slow down Alexander,” he says, tittering a little. “I might faint from all these unexpected praises, and what if you start choking?”

Alec looks down, unable to stop himself from smiling.

“I just wanted to say-”

“I got it,” Magnus cuts him off. The look on his face is incredibly soft. “Thank you.”

Alec presses his lips together, driving his smile back into his mouth. They look at each other for a few more seconds, before he nods and leaves the room quickly. One small step for man...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was one of my favorites to write!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 6! I loved writing it, and I hope all of you guys enjoy reading it (and I suspect that you will ;) ).

Alec contacts Meliorn soon after the research on the tablet officially comes to an end. He realizes that this is the first time he and Magnus have really partnered up on something since they got married, which leaves him with a strange feeling. He’s genuinely happy with the work that Magnus has done, and proud of himself for keeping everyone and everything calm with a strange artifact in the building. Alec knows that he really had not expected things to go as smoothly as they had; much less that he and Magnus would make a great team. He tries to make himself more content than infuriated with that fact.

Meliorn arrives the day after Alec invited him to take the artifact back. He doesn’t make the seelie wait around longer than he has to, and directs him to the main study the moment he steps into the Institute. Magnus is waiting by the desk, holding the tablet against his chest. That makes Meliorn stop in his tracks.

“I see you’ve allowed yourself to get… acquainted to it.”

Alec senses that the seelie isn’t comfortable with the object being in Shadowhunters possession, and even less so that Magnus has played around with it.

“Well, if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t have known that it belongs to your people so…  _ you’re welcome _ .”

He lifts it in Meliorn’s direction, who starts taking aerial steps toward him. The seelie grasps at the edges of the tablet with extreme delicateness, like he’s afraid he might break it with just a single touch. Magnus puts his hands behind his back and watches in silence.

“Although it pains me to know that you have interfered with its magic... “

Meliorn looks up at Magnus, and then turns to his left toward Alec.

“I am very pleased to be able to take this back with me. My kin will be happy to have it with us again.”

He looks between the two of them, who have adopted the same stance without realizing. Out of something that he knows is childish, Alec brings his arms back to his side instead of having his hands knit together behind his back.

“You’re welcome, Meliorn,” Alec says, using his most official tone. “Magnus was the one who identified it as being of seelie origin. We wouldn’t have found out without him.”

He doesn’t look toward Magnus, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees the warlock shooting him a look.

“But Alexander here found it in the first place. It would still be rotting away in a tunnel under the city if it wasn’t for him.”

Meliorn makes a soft, quiet chuckle.

“I see. Well, you can be sure that I will tell my queen that your  _ union _ is what made the retrieval of this tablet possible. Thank you ever so much.”

He smiles, then leaves the room, his steps still light and soundless. Alec looks at Magnus, who looks at him in turn.

“That was… easier than expected,” the warlock says, making a sigh of relief.

“Yeah. I’m glad.”

There’s a bit of strange tension during the short silence that follows. Alec can’t explain it.

“Well, since my job here is done,” Magnus starts, “I’ll take my things and go back to my loft. I believe I did overstay my welcome after all.” He titters at his own remark.

Alec finds himself calling out Magnus’ name as the latter is reaching the door.

“Yes?,” he replies, spinning around in one smooth motion.

“I just… wanted to thank you again,” Alec says, scratching the back of his head. “You’ve really helped out.”

Magnus smirks.

“I know that. And you’ve already told me. But thank you.”

His hand touches the door.

“What I’m saying is-” Alec starts, and he sees Magnus interrupting the movement of his fingers on the handle.”You’re welcome to come back. You know, in case we need you, or something.”

Alec swallows, hard, like he hadn’t meant for all these words to come out, especially as fast as they did. He sees Magnus lowering his head a little, and can hear him chuckle.

“Alec,” he says, amused, “you know perfectly well that this place will always need me.”

He leaves on those words.

 

**

 

Two days later, in the evening, Alec receives a call from Magnus, who asks him to come by his loft to discuss the feedback he received from his Downworlder friends back at the party. Instead of fighting it, Alec agrees to come right away. He secretly hopes that the warlock will be serving him another one of those delicious cocktails he had before.

When he arrives at Magnus’ apartment, the warlock is already mixing different beverages together. Alec can’t help but lick his lips.

“Thank you for coming so quickly,” Magnus says, going up to him and handing him a drink. “It’s more enthusiasm than you’ve ever shown before. Should I be flattered?”

Alec doesn’t reply, simply takes a sip of his cocktail and enjoys the sugary flavors. He’s never going to admit it, but having spent a few days in Magnus’ company at the Institute has warmed him up to the warlock’s presence. It annoys him that all the things he previously thought about him turned out to be rather untrue. Magnus isn’t a know-it-all; he’s a centuries old warlock who carries his knowledge everywhere with him, and doesn’t hesitate to educate people if need be. Pompous isn’t exactly right either; Magnus knows his worth, so why shouldn’t he be proud of it? Alec figures that’s something he should learn for himself. And while glittery isn’t wrong, it’s more than that too; Magnus is elegant, refined in his style, and knows how to put forward his great features.

“Let’s sit,” Magnus says, making a wide gesture toward the living room.

Alec goes and sits down on one of the armchairs, while Magnus takes a seat on the sofa near him.

“My friends are really intrigued by you,” he says, going straight to the point. “A lot of them used the words mysterious, tall, dark, and handsome to describe you. At least, they’ve got that right.”

Magnus takes a sip of his own drink, his eyes looking straight at Alec as he does.

“Is that all they said?,” Alec asks, trying not to blush. “Because, you know, you could have told me that over the phone.”

Magnus smirks.

“Well… I doubt the rest of what they told me is going to please you very much if I tell you.”

“Shoot,” Alec says, moving his hand in a ‘whatever’ motion.

“A lot of them were rather… saddened by the fact that our union is entirely monogamous. Your brooding looks have sparked  _ interest _ .”

Alec rolls his eyes.

“I imagine you didn’t tell them that we’re not even-”

He has trouble finishing his sentence. Having to say out loud that he and Magnus aren’t involved romantically is one thing, but taking it a step further and saying that they don’t have sex is another.

“I obviously didn’t say,” Magnus says, like he knows exactly what Alec was thinking. “They don’t need to know, anyway.”

Alec takes a gulp of his drink, Magnus’ eyes still on him. He feels heat coming up his neck and slightly coloring his cheeks.

“But, you know,” he starts, hesitant, “if you wanna do your thing, I won’t- I’m not going to fight you about it. We have no obligations of that kind to one another, so, it’s… whatever, you know.”

He hates how uncomfortable this discussion makes him feel, and how stuttery he gets. If Magnus’ friends could see him now, maybe they would be less attracted to him.

“That’s… nice of you, Alec,” Magnus says, tittering.

They stay in an awkward silence for a few minutes, enough time for Alec to empty his drink and think twice about asking for another. As much as he feels like this is more enjoyable than the times when they’ve been around each other before, he’s still very uneasy.

“I’m gonna go,” Alec says, standing up abruptly and getting dizzy from it.

He’s about to go around the armchair and back into the hall to leave when Magnus catches his wrist.

“I wanted to tell you something else,” the warlock says, his voice louder than they both probably anticipated.

Alec turns slightly to see Magnus’ eyes locked on him, a sort of pleading, anxious look on his face. He settles back down into the chair.

“I wanted to talk to you about…”

Magnus seems deeply troubled, his brows furrowed, his jaw set tight.

“About what happened at the party. With Camille.”

Alec’s eyes go wide in surprise. He’d almost forgotten about that.

“I’ve been really uncomfortable with what went down, and I feel like I should have explained the circumstances a little bit more.”

Alec wants to say that Magnus doesn’t have to tell him anything, that it’s none of his business and that truthfully, the whole thing had almost slipped his mind. But seeing the look on the warlock’s face makes him curious, and a little bit worried, enough to care.

“You see-” Magnus starts, and his voice seems to catch in his throat for a moment. He coughs slightly, and Alec notices that his eyes look shinier than they usually do. Not with their usual spark of mischievousness, but with something that looks a lot like sadness.

“Pardon me. I didn’t think I’d talk to you about this at all, if I’m honest.”

A smile creeps up the corner of Magnus’ lips, but Alec recognizes it as the same one he uses when his parents ask him to do better, to be better. It’s a smile born out of fear and distress.

“Like you might have understood,” Magnus says after letting out a huge sigh, “Camille and I were lovers. It lasted a while. At least, in immortal terms, it was a while.”

Magnus’ eyes aren’t on Alec anymore; instead, he’s looking straight ahead, probably at nothing in particular.

“I… loved her deeply,” he says, frowning as the words leave his mouth. “I’d been with people before, but with her, it felt different. I felt like I had met my match. We were both powerful, passionate, pleasure-seeking immortals who found themselves less bored when we were with each other.”

Alec cannot help but notice the various expressions on Magnus’ face as he talks. One second, he seems pained, and another, his features look soft and enamored. Alec realizes that the warlock is opening himself up to him, letting him in on his vulnerability; something that he guesses isn’t typical for Magnus.

“The trouble was, we weren’t actually looking for the same thing. I’d never been happier than when I was with her because I told myself ‘Finally! Someone who won’t die on me.’”

Hearing this is like taking a blade to the heart. Alec is glad that Magnus feels the need to pause after this sentence, because he has to process all of it for longer than a second. He sees Magnus’ fingers digging into the armrest of the couch. He holds himself back from putting his hand over them.

“But,” Magnus continues, “that’s because I didn’t count on her leaving me. I think she became bored. I don’t blame her. She was, and I’m guessing, still is, most interested in the exciting things of life, in changes, in movement.”

He swallows.

“So while I was looking for someone who I could spend the rest of eternity with, Camille… Well, she thought that eternity couldn’t be summed up in one person. So we parted.”

He looks at Alec, and his features look stern, almost intimidating.

“It’s my fault, really. I was foolish. Immortals don’t waste their time on things like love, because it’s fleeting. At least, that’s what everybody said when she left.”

Alec doesn’t know if it’s his turn to talk yet. He doesn’t know what to say anyway. Sitting here near Magnus, he feels like he can sense every emotion that’s radiating off the warlock’s body, every thought a needle in his own brain.

“I hadn’t seen her for a hundred years or so when we met her at the party. I hate how nonchalant she was about it, too. Never felt more like an idiot.”

Alec tries to think about what a hundred years must feel like. To him, not seeing someone for five years would be a lot already, so what can Magnus possibly feel? Is it different because he can’t die? Is it better? Is it worse?

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing he manages to say, although he knows it means nothing.

Magnus’ laugh is choked up.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. It was a long time ago. The fact that I still ache from it just shows how little control I have over my emotions, no matter what I like to think.”

He stands up, and Alec feels like he just got thrown out of an alternate dimension where time stands still. Magnus makes his way to his alcohol cabinet and serves himself another drink. He snaps his fingers and gets Alec’s glass to appear in front of him, refilling it as well.

“Now that this out of the way,” Magnus exclaims, moving dangerously fast for someone who’s carrying two glasses filled to the rim, “let’s drink!”

He sits back down on the couch and hands a cocktail to Alec, holding his own glass toward him, waiting so they can clink them together.

“Magnus…” Alec starts, his voice hesitant.

He really wants to say something after all this, and not let the warlock think that this isn’t important, or that he doesn’t care. Because after trying really hard not to care at all, Magnus’ story made cracks in the wall he’s put up between them, and as much as he would love to, Alec can’t ignore it.

“Indulge me,” Magnus says, “ _ please _ .”

Alec sighs, and clinks his glass to Magnus’, who smiles like it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him. He wants to say “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about this?”, but the grin on the warlock’s face dissuades him.

“What about you, Alec?,” Magnus asks, elegantly crossing his legs.

Alec squints.

“What do you mean what about me?”

Magnus starts stirring his drink with his pinky, staring right at him again.

“Have you ever felt the kind of love that changes your perspective on the world?”

Alec’s heart gives a violent beat against his chest, and for a moment he feels like the air got punched out of his lungs. While he’s not surprised that someone like Magnus would try to evade further conversation after revealing things about himself, he hadn’t expected that he’d be a part of that evading plan. He frowns, his lips pinched together. He’s not exactly the sharing type, but he feels if he doesn’t answer, it’d be unfair to Magnus.

“Well, uh. No. I don’t think so.”

“You would know if you had.”

Alec feels like laughing. On the list of things that he didn’t think he’d talk about with Magnus, he hadn’t even thought about love. 

“I mean, all my life I’ve been doing what my parents and the Clave expect of me. Just training, and working, and fighting. Doesn’t leave much room to find love.”

He’s got an actual answer, but he feels it’s not appropriate, or not quite what Magnus would like to hear.

“I guess… I guess there’s someone,” he starts, a shy smile on his lips.

Magnus straightens up in his sit, leaning slightly toward Alec, like he wants to make sure he hears his answer properly.

“I’m not sure I want to say, it’s… it’s dumb.”

“Tell me,” Magnus says, his tone both firm and reassuring, somehow.

Alec gulps down the entirety of his beverage, which earns him a quiet laugh from Magnus. He puts his glass on the coffee table and starts playing with a loose thread of his jeans.

“Growing up, the only boy I was close enough to have a real friendship with was Jace. We shared everything. For a while, I…”

He chuckles softly.

“I thought I loved him, but, I think I loved what he represented,” Alec says, and getting those thoughts out for someone else to hear is strangely liberating.

“What he represented meaning men in general, correct?,” Magnus asks.

Alec bites away a smile.

“Yeah. It felt wrong, because he’s like a brother, but for a long time, he seemed to be who I looked for, and what I looked for. It’s only later I realized that what he had been was help into discovering who I was. I never told him. I think he knows, though.”

He looks up to find Magnus staring at him with incredible fondness on his face. It disturbs him, but he can’t help but smile, looking down in embarrassment. Alec reaches over to his glass, and hands it back to Magnus.

“Can I get another one of those?,” he asks, making his tone purposefully playful.

Magnus laughs and takes Alec’s drink, standing up to go refill it. For a few hours afterward - Alec doesn’t know if it’s two, or three, or even four - they stay up and talk. The topic of love doesn’t come up again, but they learn more about one another. Nothing too heartfelt, just the basics. Alec doesn’t remember what becoming friends with someone feels like exactly, but his best guess is that it’s just like that.

It’s midnight when he wonders if he should be going back to the Institute already. He’s standing up and putting his jacket back on when he catches Magnus’ confused expression.

“What are you doing?,” the warlock asks.

“I’m… I should probably go back, you know. It’s late.”

Magnus shakes his head.

“No no no. You’re staying here. I have a guest room.”

Alec frowns. He’s about to ask why Magnus can’t just create a portal and that’d be that, but Magnus is putting his hands on his shoulders and taking off his jacket for him. Alec watches in disbelief, frozen, as the warlock slides the sleeves off of Alec’s arms, and then lets the jacket fall back onto the couch.

“Come,” Magnus says, walking away like what he did was perfectly normal, “I’ll show you.”

Before he knows it, Alec is sitting on a bed covered in dark blue silk sheets, that has at least ten silver colored pillows on it.

“No one has ever complained, so I’m pretty sure you’ll be comfortable here,” Magnus says, sounding very enthusiastic.

Alec wonders if Magnus' happiness with the situation simply comes down to the fact that he loves hosting parties and having people over.

“You can leave whenever you want in the morning. There’s a coffee maker in the kitchen, in case you want some.”

Magnus is standing at the threshold, his hands on his waist, looking around like he’s trying to come up with something else to say.

“Well… I’ll leave you be, then,” he says, before turning toward the corridor. “Good night, Alexander,” he says, the sound of his fingers snapping, the door closing behind him.

Alec is too dumbfounded to reply in time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a week already since the last update! I feel like it went by super fast!
> 
> There's something pretty important I have to say, so here goes: from this point on, I won't necessarily be able to update once a week, or generally, on a regular basis. I still have work to do on chapter 8, so from now on, this'll be updated everytime I manage to finish a chapter, and I obviously can't be sure about how long it'll take me! But by posting this online, I have made a promise, not only to myself, but to all of you lovely people who have stuck through every update and have been incredibly supportive (whether by leaving a comment or kudos), that I'd see this through. There is no question about that. This story means a lot to me, so don't be scared - you'll get an ending to it. Thank you once again for staying tuned, and for getting this little fic of mine to 10k+ hits!!! That's huge!!! Thank you guys so much, it means the world to me <3
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

It feels weird, waking up in a bed that isn’t his own. The silk sheets are soft against Alec’s skin, almost like a dream, and all the pillows surround his body like he’s a statue that was bubble-wrapped during the night. He stirs himself awake, reaches for his phone on the bedside table and checks the time. 8:34. Alec realizes that he’s lucky he woke up so early, because he completely forgot to set his alarm before sleeping.

Alec gets out of bed and takes his clothes that he’d put together in a neat pile. When dressed, he finds his way to the kitchen and tries to make himself some coffee, but Magnus’ machine is a lot fancier and more complicated than what he uses at the Institute, so he figures he’ll make himself some once he’s there.

Alec is about to grab an apple from a fruit basket that’s on the kitchen counter when he hears noise coming from the living room. It’s not much, just the sound of feet shuffling on the floor and voices that, though quiet, sound like they’re arguing. Obviously, one of them has to be Magnus’, but who does the other voice belong to? Alec makes his way out of the kitchen and into the corridor that leads to the living room, trying to be as silent as possible.

“How did you know I live here anyway?,” Magnus’ voice comes, sounding exasperated.

“I asked around at the party the other night, so let’s just say I didn’t have any trouble getting the information.”

Alec recognizes Camille’s sugary tone like he’s heard it the day before. He backs up against the nearest wall, out of possible sight, and keeps listening.

“So how’s marriage been treating you?,” she asks, and Alec hears the sound of her heels clicking on the floor.

“Ah, come on now Camille. You’re not here to ask me about that.”

“Oooh, still as perceptive as ever I see,” she says, her tone almost a coo. “Well, I have to say… Seeing you the other night…”

Her heels stop clicking.

“I realized that I missed you, all this time.”

Alec frowns, just as Magnus lets out a very audible sigh.

“Camille…,” the warlock starts.

His voice sounds weak, almost defenseless. Something in Alec’s stomach stirs. He can’t stop thinking about Magnus’ story from the night before, how pained he had looked talking about Camille, how much heartbreak he had endured…

Alec gets into the room, making sure his footsteps are as loud as he can make them, and that’s when Camille plants a kiss on Magnus’ lips. Alec can’t help but take a step back in surprise, while Magnus’ arms seem to be stuck to his sides. His eyes are open wide, and he’s very obviously not kissing Camille back. It doesn’t seem to upset her, because when she pulls away, she’s sporting a bright smile on her face. Magnus seems to take notice of Alec at that moment, and his eyes go wider still. The vampire turns around and looks at Alec up and down, not a hint of embarrassment or surprise on her features. She’d known he could hear them.

“Oh, Alec! It’s lovely to see you! What are you doing here?”

She takes a few steps toward him and holds her hand out for him to shake - or maybe kiss, he doesn’t know what she’s used to. Instead of taking it, Alec crosses his arms over his chest.

“I could ask the same thing of you,” he can’t help but say, his tone more serious than he had expected it to be.

Camille chuckles.

“Oooh, it bites. Are you getting territorial?,” she teases. “I like the frown, though. Very sexy.”

Alec ignores her remark and shoots a look at Magnus, who seems to be completely out of sorts. Trying to get a reaction out of the warlock, Alec raises his eyebrows slightly, as if to ask what should be done about the situation.

“I slept here,” he says, turning his attention back to Camille.

This time, her face actually expresses something other than devilishness. She looks astounded.

“Magnus,” she says, dragging out the ‘u’ and turning slowly toward the warlock, “I knew you’d manage to-”

“We talked about politics,” Magnus exclaims, cutting her short, “and the Clave, and the Downworld. It was late, so I asked him if he wanted to stay in the guest room instead of going back home in the middle of the night, and he did.”

Alec has never heard Magnus’ words come out faster than this before, in such a panicked way too. His plan to throw off Camille with an innuendo as to his and Magnus’ activities is pretty much screwed.

“Oh really?,” Camille asks, looking between the two of them, clearly amused by the whole thing. “You’re working hard, then. Good men.”

She starts making her way back toward Magnus.

“Anyway, I’ll be leaving now,” she says, planting a quick kiss on Magnus’ cheek. “We’ll see each other soon, boys.”

Alec looks at Magnus, who still looks out of it and breathless. He hurries after Camille, who’s already out of the apartment.

“Hey!,” he calls out after her.

She turns around, a smirk on her dark red lips.

“What is it, nephilim?”

There’s a growing urge in Alec to hurt her, and he doesn’t know if he wants to do it with words or with his fists. He swallows the anger down.

“What do you think you’re doing with him?,” he finds himself asking.

She giggles, a sound almost unnatural coming from her.

“Aw, it’s cute that you care. It’s also cute that you think I’d tell you.”

Alec makes his hands into fists at his sides, his fingers digging into his palms.

“I’ll tell you one thing, though. A little piece of advice.”

“I don’t know why you think I care for your advice, but go on,” he says through gritted teeth.

Camille seems pleased with his rage and distrust in her, which only adds fuel to the fire inside of him.

“Magnus probably told you one of his sob stories. That’s fine. But you need to realize that whatever emotions he has felt in the past… Well, they’re long gone now. He cares about people like you as much as I do, which is to say, not a whole lot. You best get that inside your head before you get hurt, sweetheart.”

She doesn’t leave him time to answer, she simply smiles and leaves. Alec wishes for the sun to come out faster, burning her till only her ashes remain, but the sky is still dark enough outside for her to be safe. Dammit.

 

**

 

Alec is back at the Institute. After going inside Magnus’ apartment to check up on him, he couldn’t find the warlock, so he’d decided to leave. He has no idea where Magnus is, but he understands why he fled. Camille showing up completely unannounced and allowing herself to kiss him - that must have been hard for the warlock. Alec is still thinking about Camille’s infuriating words when he bumps into Isabelle in the middle of the hall.

“Alec!,” she exclaims, looking relieved, then immediately furious, “where have you been?! I almost sent out a search party for you!”

She slaps him on the arm. It barely stings.

“Calm down, Izzy. I was at Magnus’, I’m fine.”

He walks past her toward the research room, and he can hear the clicking of her heels catching up behind him.

“What do you mean you were at Magnus’? Are you saying you were there  _ all night _ ?”

Her voice isn’t annoyed anymore; it’s taken on the mischievous tone that Alec knows all too well.

“Nothing happened,” he says, stern. “We talked for a long time yesterday and he didn’t want me to leave in the middle of the night.”

“And you  _ stayed _ ? Of your own free will?”

Alec rolls his eyes and walks straight toward a colleague, asking him to be filled in on what he might have missed since the day before.

“Don’t ignore me, big brother,” Izzy continues as he turns and walks toward a screen. “This is kind of a big deal.”

Alec groans.

“It really isn’t. It’s not the first time I go to his place, so don’t act like it is.”

He doesn’t mean to be this harsh, but he really doesn’t have time to entertain his sister’s weird ideas about what he was doing at Magnus’ apartment.

“Okay,” Isabelle says in a light voice. “Well, if you have anything you wanna tell me, you know where I am.”

Alec nods without looking at her, and concentrates on the blinking dots on the screen that indicate demonic presence.

 

**

 

It’s 7 p.m., and Alec is holding his phone so tightly into his hand he fears he might break it. He wants to call Magnus, ask him how he’s doing, but the thought of it irks him. Wanting to call the warlock means that he cares, which wasn’t part of the plan. It means he wants to be friendly, and then again, he had not signed up for that. But he can’t stop thinking about how lost Magnus had looked after Camille had kissed him, how the few words he had uttered were rushed and panicked, so he calls him.

There are two tones before Magnus answers.

“Hey, Magnus, it’s Alec.”

“I know. Your name appears on my screen.”

What a great start to a possibly very embarrassing conversation.

“Yeah, uh,” Alec continues hesitantly, “I just wanted to…”

He wants to say that he doesn’t know why he’s calling, that it was a mistake and that they’ll talk some other time, but all of that is lies.

“I… Are you okay?”

There is silence on the line, before Magnus gives a short sigh.

“I’m alright, Alexander,” he replies, sounding exhausted.

_ You can tell me if you’re not fine _ , Alec wants to say, but keeps the words to himself instead.

“Okay. Right. Well then.”

Magnus chuckles, and the sound makes Alec feel warm inside.

“Thank you for calling,” Magnus says.

His voice is softer, almost fond.

“Yeah, I mean,” Alec starts, “I was…”

“Worried?,” Magnus asks, and Alec can hear the amusement in his voice. It makes him smile.

“Have a good night, Magnus,” he ends up saying, because he doesn’t know where the conversation can go from here.

“Good night, Alexander,” Magnus replies, and the call is over.

 

**

 

Over the next two weeks, Alec doesn’t see Magnus. He finds himself missing him, which doesn’t make much sense to him, but after a few days, he gets used to the feeling. One evening, Magnus calls him and asks him about his day, what he’s been up to, and Alec spends the whole conversation wondering when the warlock is going to ask him to do something related to their partnership. He never does, though, and they say goodnight like friends would. They end up calling each other every other day.

It’s a pain to realize that he thinks of Magnus as a friend, now. After their wedding, Alec had made a vow to himself that he’d make sure he would stay professional about the whole thing. Being professional is one of the things he does best, after all. And yet, it had only taken Magnus a little over a month to get Alec to like him. The worst part is, Alec is pretty sure Magnus hadn’t acted any different than with someone else, meaning that he’s actually a great person to be around, and Alec was just being a judgemental prick. He hates being wrong.

The two weeks pass without much ruckus, apart from the fact that Isabelle had to go and tell Clary and Jace about Alec spending the night at Magnus’.

“Would you  _ stop _ making a fuss about this,” Alec says. “Nothing happened.”

“It’s not really about anything happening, man,” Jace says, his voice sounding the way his smirk look, “it’s more about the fact that you don’t seem to be bothered by it.”

“Well I just might start to be bothered, if you don’t shut up about it soon.”

Clary chuckles.

“Come on, Alec,” she starts. “I mean, we were all bracing ourselves, ready to fight the guy if anything happened, so this comes as a pretty big surprise. To all of us.”

Alec sighs. He’s glad that the new state of his relationship with Magnus is making his friends less worried, but the comments and sly smiles could have come as options.

“Listen, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not glad either, okay? The fact that he and I can talk to each other without feeling some sort of unease or resentment is great. But that’s it. There’s nothing else to say.”

Jace and Clary look at him in silence, their smiles not leaving their lips. Alec groans and walks away, just as Izzy is making her way toward him, frowning slightly.

“What’s wrong?,” he asks immediately when she’s at his side.

“Mom sent a message. Her and dad are coming over in a few days, mostly to see the aftermath of the wedding.”

Alec shrugs.

“That’s nothing we can’t handle.”

“I wish that was it,” Isabelle continues. “They’re bringing back a few members of the Clave. She said that they don’t trust her and dad to be completely impartial, since you’re their son.”

A small smile creeps up at the corner of her lips as she’s finishing her sentence. Alec looks down and smiles too.

“They clearly don’t know them, then,” he says, amused. “So what does that mean for us?”

Isabelle makes a face.

“You’re not gonna like it.”

“I know. Shoot.”

She takes a deep breath, and looks him right in the eyes.

“Formal party.”

“Dammit,” Alec says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He figures that it can’t be worse than the last event he was at.

 

**

 

A formal party with members of the Clave who want to check on how Alec’s union to Magnus is going obviously implies inviting Magnus. Alec is sitting on his bed, his phone next to him, wondering what he’s gonna say. It’s stupid, really. There’s not a whole lot of ways to ask Magnus to come to the party, and it doesn’t mean anything anyway. It isn’t any different than the one Magnus had taken him to, except for the people who are going to be there. There’s no point being anxious about this.

“Magnus?,” he says when the warlock picks up his phone after a few tones.

“Yes, Alexander, hi. How are you?”

Alec swallows.

“I’m fine, uhm. Listen, my parents are gonna be here soon and uh…”

Magnus laughs softly.

“Let me guess. I have to spend time with my in-laws.”

Alec sighs.

“Yes, but, that’s not all of it. Members of the Clave are also coming, and so we have to make it this whole official get-together kind of thing, so there’s gonna be a party.”

“And you need me there,” Magnus says. Alec finds it funny that it’s not a question. It’s a statement of the obvious.

“Yeah. It’s not like we have much of a choice anyway.”

There’s a short silence, and then Magnus speaks again.

“Do I get to pick your outfit?”

Alec can’t help but smile, a huge grin that he’s glad no one is in his room to see.

“I mean, I guess,” he says, his tone more playful than he thought it’d be.

“ _ Splendid _ ,” Magnus says, the satisfaction in his voice almost palpable. “Call me back when the preparations begin.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

Magnus hangs up, and Alec puts his phone on his bed. He tries to ignore the furious beats of his heart as best he can.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to write chapter 8 for it to be ready this week! It's a miracle! This one is longer than its predecessors, it's a little over 9 pages long in my documents, so you've got quite a few things to enjoy, which I hope you will :D

The formal party is two days away, and Alec’s mind can’t stop racing with all the possible scenarios of what might go wrong. He fears Magnus’ attitude toward his parents and the Clave, but at the same time, he knows he can trust him by now. The Lightwoods and the Clave themselves could actually be bigger problems than the warlock. Alec knows for a fact that they won’t hesitate to criticize Magnus, which he’s already irritated about. And he’s certain Magnus isn’t going to hold back from throwing a gibe or two their way, even if he aims to be as polite as possible throughout the whole evening. All of this is a recipe for disaster that Alec doesn’t know how to prevent from happening.

The Institute is buzzing with people preparing the place for the party, putting up fancy decorations and expertly strewn about fairy-lights in the hall, pushing away the screens and desks to make room for multiple round tables. Without all the tech equipment, it’s a completely different place. It looks like the church it once was, ready to welcome an array of people in its nave.

At around one in the afternoon, Alec calls Magnus to tell him that the Institute’s makeover is underway, and that he’s free to come if he wishes. He’s just hanging up when he hears the familiar “whoosh” sound of a portal appearing in the next room. Alec comes out of the main study, still clutching his phone, and finds Magnus standing in the middle of the hall, looking at what the place has become. Alec can’t help but notice Magnus’ rather sober outfit, very different from the colorful and layered ones he got used to. He’s wearing a simple black shirt - though it is made of silk - and black jeans, with short-heeled black boots. There is no necklace around his neck, nor bracelets on his wrists. The only jewels he has are his usual tiny ear-cuff and a couple of rings on each hand, but Alec guesses they’re the least shiny he owns. From where he’s standing, he can see that Magnus hasn’t left his loft without his smudged liner look, but overall, he looks… different. Like he tried his best to think of a look that would make him blend in the Shadowhunters crowd.

“Well,” Magnus says, loud enough so that Alec can hear him all the way across the room, “you’ve actually managed to make this place look welcoming. Good job.”

Alec makes his way toward him, climbing down the few steps leading to what will be a dance floor, 48 hours from then, give or take.

“I did nothing, really. Isabelle is the one you should congratulate.”

Magnus grins at that.

“Of course it was your sister all along. Where is she? I wanna say hi. She left quite the impression on me when we first met.”

Memories of their wedding come back to Alec, specifically Isabelle’s fierce defense of him, her unflinching stare at the most powerful wizard in New York as she’d promised she’d hurt him if anything were to happen to her brother. It makes Alec smile, and he finds his satisfaction is deepened by the fact that Magnus doesn’t seem to hold any kind of resentment toward Izzy for her threats. The idea of them getting along is both delightful, and terrifying.

“Your room’s waiting for you,” he says with a smile, the idea of Magnus staying at the Institute strangely comfortable.

“ _ My _ room?,” Magnus asks, the corner of his lips turning up in a smirk. “What happened to ‘don’t overstay your welcome’?”

Alec chuckles, but doesn’t reply. If it’s anything to go by, the smile on Magnus’ face tells him he doesn’t have to.

 

**

 

That same day, and the one following it, Alec finds it’s almost impossible to have a conversation with Magnus. The warlock is taking the preparations of the party at heart, and Isabelle lets him have a say in everything. As expected, they get along very well, which Alec is pleased about more than he’d care to admit.

Alec stays as far away as possible from any party matters, hoping no one will ask for his help. He still has to send out teams to search for any other lost artifact in the underground, and because a visit from his parents and the Clave clearly isn’t enough already, he receives worrying news from Luke. Unsurprisingly, tensions are running high between werewolves and vampires, and it ordinarily wouldn’t warrant any concern. But while playful threats are common between the two groups, Luke’s message talks of close calls with violence, and that is something Alec will inevitably have to deal with after the party.

It’s one in the morning when he and Magnus finally find themselves alone for the first time in 48 hours. Alec is sitting on one of the benches at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, his anxiety running higher with each passing minute. Magnus comes in, rubbing at his eyes. He’s wearing black pajamas with a silk, crimson robe over them, and is barefoot. His face is free of any makeup. He looks so different without it that Alec needs a few seconds to adjust to the sight. He’s still handsome as ever, though, which is mildly annoying.

“Alec,” he says, no surprise in his tone. “Can’t sleep?”

Alec nods, and takes a long sip of his coffee. Magnus goes and sits next to him.

“Anxious?”

Alec chuckles in response.

“You have no idea.”

Magnus snaps his fingers, and a cup of tea appears in front of him. From the smell of it, it’s vanilla. They don’t even have vanilla tea at the Institute.

“What’s troubling you, exactly?”

Alec scratches the back of his head, and sighs.

“I’m not… worried about what they’ll say about our work,” he starts. “For the few things that we’ve done, I know we’ve done good. But…”

Magnus lifts his eyebrows, intimating him to go on.

“They won’t get that we made this work, you know? That’s what they wanted but they’ll find something to be disappointed by. And I’m scared that…”

Magnus’ eyes staring right into his almost make Alec swallow his tongue.

“I’m scared they’ll be hard on you. Only you. No matter what I tell them.”

He shakes his head in rancor, taking a swig of his lukewarm coffee. He hates thinking about his parents and the Clave’s prejudice against Magnus, because it mirrors the one he used to have, the one he had when he slipped a golden bracelet around his wrist and drew a rune over his heart.

“Although it’s sweet of you, you shouldn’t worry about that,” Magnus says, a tinge of amusement in his voice. “I’m not one to be scared by in-laws and pencil pushers.”

Alec chuckles and looks toward the warlock. Despite his best efforts, he can’t help but let himself stare at Magnus’ face, and there’s not much he can do to fight off the thought that Magnus really is a beautiful man. There is no need to try and deny it, because it’s right there, looking him right in the face.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you,” Magnus says, breaking the short silence.

Alec straightens up in his seat, blinking away the image of Magnus’ eyes and their color.

“Another one of your confessions?,” he asks, scared that Magnus might tell him something that would add to his already strong anxious emotions.

“Well… More like an apology.”

Alec frowns.

“I know I’m rather late about this, but…,” Magnus starts, seeming concerned about finishing his sentence, “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for kissing you at our wedding.”

Inexplicably, Alec feels like someone just took all the air right out of his lungs. He certainly hadn’t seen that coming.

“Wait… what?”

Magnus shakes his head and titters, obviously embarrassed.

“I shouldn’t have taken that liberty. I shouldn’t have assumed that it’d make you feel better either. So, I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”

Alec blinks away his surprise and confusion.

“Magnus, that was what feels like ages ago, I don’t…”

Magnus has the same look on his face he had when they’d met Camille at the Downworlder party - eyebrows drawn together, the corner of his lips downturned, eyes looking everywhere but at Alec. Something like anger rises inside of Alec; how did his parents dare tell him that this man would ever take advantage of him and feel no remorse about it? He traces the rim of his coffee cup with one finger, frowning slightly.

“A short while after we got married,” he starts, “my parents told me something about you.”

Magnus’ traits don’t soften, instead the muscles of his jaw seem to tighten.

“Ah… What did dear Maryse and Robert have to say about me, pray tell?,” he asks through gritted teeth.

Alec bites the inside of his cheek, hesitant.

“Well… They said that because of your…  _ reputation _ , that you might… They said that you might take advantage of me. They didn’t put it that way, but that’s what they meant.”

He lets it all out in one go, because if he’d taken more than a few seconds between each sentences to finish, he never would have. It’s heart wrenching, seeing the look on Magnus’ face, going from sad to sadder still. He resists the urge to put his hand on Magnus’ shoulder, or even to take it in his own.

“But,” he continues, “here you are. Apologizing for kissing me almost two months ago.” 

Magnus looks up at him, and stares, a strange spark in his eyes. Slowly, his eyebrows unknit, and his lips part slightly.

“I’m not saying I wasn’t mad about it,” Alec continues, wanting to make sure Magnus understands what he’s saying. “I was. It’s just…”

He wants the next words to sink back into his stomach as well, to never see the light of day, because they feel odd in his mouth, but they hang on the tip of his tongue and he can’t help but say them.

“You’re not what I’ve been told you were.”

_ You’re better _ , he doesn’t say. Magnus is speechless for a moment, and Alec realizes that his heart’s taken on a fast pace. Being this nice, this caring, wasn’t part of the plan. The day they’d gotten married, Alec had decided on a very clear, simple path for how things were to go. And yet, he’s sitting next to Magnus in the middle of the night, mesmerized by how soothed he feels watching the sadness on the warlock’s face being slowly replaced by a shy smile.

“You’re forgiven,” Alec ends up saying, and Magnus’ face breaks out into a wide grin, his eyes shining.

“Thank you, Alexander,” he says, his tone soft, fragile.

Alec makes a slight shrug of his shoulders, like what he just said is nothing, when he feels like the last bricks of the wall both he and Magnus had built between each other just turned to dust. Magnus quickly finishes his tea, and stands up, running his hands over the fabric of his nightgown.

“I’ll go to bed now,” he says, then coughs into his hand. “You should get some rest too.”

He makes his way toward the door, and right before leaving, turns around.

“It’ll be okay, Alec,” he says, not needing to clarify for Alec to know what he’s talking about.

Magnus slips out of the kitchen, and Alec stands up to refill his cup of coffee.

 

**

 

Alec gets two hours of sleep, at most, before he has to wake up. His parents are scheduled to arrive at one in the afternoon, while members of the Clave will come just in time for the party. Strangely enough, the Institute is rather calm, but he expects it’ll soon enough be buzzing with people getting ready. Alec takes a quick breakfast, and goes to find Magnus, still needing to tell him about Luke’s message.

“Vamps and werewolves  _ again _ ?,” Magnus moans in annoyance. “You know, I thought I was petty, but they’re really giving me a run for my money.”

“This could be serious, Magnus,” Alec says, his tone stern. “We can’t ignore it just because we’re used to it.”

Magnus sighs in response.

“Of course. You’re right. But we can’t attend to this now. Maryse and Robert will be here soon and I’m sure they’re going to want all of your attention.”

It’s Alec’s turn to sigh. There’s no forgetting the Lightwood parents.

At exactly 1 p.m., they enter the Institute, heads held high, their stride confident as ever, the perfect image of what they’ve been telling their children to be since they were born. Alec cannot help but gulp as he sees them heading straight toward him, not taking the time to look at how different the place looks now that it’s been decorated for the party.

“Alec,” his father says, warmth in his tone despite his serious expression, “how have you been, son?”

He shakes Alec’s hand firmly and pats his back, before taking one step to the side so Maryse can hug him.

“You look so tired,” she says, and how very much like her for these to be the first words she gives him. “Have you not been sleeping well?”

If Alec chose to be honest, he’d tell her that them and the Clave visiting terrifies him, and that they’re the cause for the shadows under his eyes.

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” he lies. “There’s just been a lot of work, recently.”

“I would hope so,” Maryse says.

She doesn’t need to finish her sentence for Alec to know where it would have gone.  _ We didn’t marry you off so the workload would be lighter.  _ Just as he’s thinking this, Magnus pats him on the shoulder.

“Maryse, Robert,” he says, smiling wide. “What a joy to see you.”

Alec shoots him a look, and is surprised to find no evidence of sarcasm on the warlock’s face. They all know he’s a good liar, though.

“Magnus,” Maryse says, her tone so cold Alec fears he might froze in place.

His father leans toward him as his mother and Magnus are exchanging false pleasantries.

“What’s he doing here?”

Alec frowns.

“He… slept here, dad,” he answers, hoping his father won’t come up with extravagant ideas as to why Magnus stayed over.

“Slept here?,” Robert repeats, the shock in his voice quite obvious. “Was it necessary?”

Alec makes his hands into fists at his sides.  _ So it begins _ .

“Magnus insisted to be here, so he could organize the party with Isabelle,” he says, louder, so his mother hears as well.

“Oh,” both his parents say.

“And as you can see, this place has a lot of potential,” Magnus adds, showing the room’s decorations with a gesture.

Maryse and Robert remain completely impassive, but Alec knows it’s a front. They quickly leave him and Magnus behind, presumably to settle into their room. Alec lets out a huge sigh once they’re out of earshot.

“It’s a real wonder how these two managed to have such lovely kids,” Magnus says.

Alec lets out a soft snort. He would scold Magnus for talking badly of his parents, but it’s not like he disagrees with him.

 

**

 

The day ends up being a lot of lounging around doing nothing in particular, which Alec had forgotten could be a thing. He guesses his parents are keeping all of their questions for later, when the Clave will be at the Institute, which gives him the opportunity to think about what they might ask, and how he could answer. Magnus coaches him without Alec even asking. Considering the state of the relationship between the warlock and the Clave, Magnus helping Alec out is rather unexpected, but welcomed nonetheless. Alec figures Magnus is probably used to relentless questioning from prying Shadowhunters.

Time passes quicker than he’d like it to, and so, at 6.30, Alec finds himself walking to his bedroom, both impatient and anxious to find the outfit Magnus has laid out for him. Except he only finds a plain white shirt and black dress pants on his bed, and with a quick glance toward his wardrobe, sees a simple black jacket on a hanger, its hook around the knob.

“Isabelle told me you had those somewhere in your dresser.”

Alec jumps when he hears Magnus’ voice. He turns around, his eyes still wide in surprise. He notices that the warlock is dressed in a rather sober way, sporting a black button-up shirt and black skinny jeans, the only touch of color being a velvet, dark green jacket. He’s not wearing any glitter on his eyelids, just a smoky eyeliner, and his only accessory is the pair of earrings that go with the brooch he’d offered Alec all those weeks ago. Something dips inside of Alec’s stomach when he notices the jewels.

“I thought you were supposed to pick something for me,” he says, tearing his gaze away from Magnus’ earlobes.

Magnus smiles.

“I did. I just figured your parents would notice if it was something I would have chosen for myself. And…”

He takes a few tentative steps into the bedroom, and Alec finds himself inhaling through his nose, hard. Magnus’ presence in his room is alien, and scary, and he doesn’t like how it’s making his heart go faster. Magnus sits on Alec’s bed, and runs a hand over the fabric of the white shirt.

“Well, you know. It’s the Institute. This is your home. You should look like yourself.”

Alec tries to make the small smile at the corner of his lips as imperceptible as possible.

“I tried to tone it down as well,” Magnus continues, smiling even wider, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “Hopefully that’ll be one less thing for our guests to criticize me about.”

Magnus chuckles a little, the sound soft in Alec’s ears. He looks at the shirt and the pants lying on his bed, and then at Magnus. There’s so much Alec wants to say; how much it means to him that the warlock picked something he’d be comfortable in, or how forcing himself to fit in with the Shadowhunters crowd is a sacrifice that Alec has tremendous respect for, no matter how small it might seem to Magnus. 

“Thank you,” is all he manages to say.

Magnus nods and stands up, walking back to the door.

“Get dressed,” he says, “we don’t have much time before we’re thrown to the hounds.”

 

**

 

Alec takes a last look at the obsidian brooch on his bedside table, and decides that he can’t put it on, no matter how much he wants to. He’s not stupid - Magnus hadn’t put on the earrings just because they compliment his outfit well. If Alec wore the matching clasp, it would send a pretty huge message to the Clave, and to his parents. A message he fears might be misinterpreted. It doesn’t matter that he is out, and it doesn’t matter that there’s nothing going on between him and Magnus, apart from a loveless wedding. It’s  _ Magnus _ , and showing up with coordinating jewelry to a Shadowhunters official event would mean trouble. Alec leaves his bedroom thinking about how Magnus is going to feel not seeing the brooch on his chest. He almost runs back in to grab it.

When he reaches the hall, Alec immediately spots Magnus in the crowd, despite his dark outfit that melds him in with the guests. The warlock is having what seems to be a very lively conversation with a blonde woman, and not too far from him, Alec sees Isabelle, who’s clinking her champagne glass with a fellow Shadowhunter’s. Earlier that day, he’d given their evening to Jace and Clary, not wanting to force them to attend an event that did not concern them. Not seeing the two makes him regret his kindness. Alec adjusts his jacket one last time, and makes a beeline for Magnus. He apologizes profusely to the woman, saying he needs his husband, which makes him realize he still feels weird using that word.

They’re about to go find Maryse and Robert, but the Lightwood parents find them first.

“Alec,” Maryse says, her tone ice cold, “you’re late.”

He’s about to say that yes, he knows, but that’s before he notices his mother giving Magnus a once over, as if he’s somehow responsible for Alec’s lost time. He shuts his eyes for a few seconds, clenching his teeth.  _ It’s only getting started _ .

“I’m here, now, mother,” he says as he opens his eyes back up.

“Go talk to people,” Robert says, patting him on the shoulder. “We’ll sit for dinner when you’re ready.”

Alec nods, and gulps. His parents walk away toward one of their Clave friends. He works in lieu of Head of the New York Institute, and yet, being the person who decides for a whole crowd when dinner starts feels like more responsibility than he’s ever had before. Alec looks around the room, and feels Magnus linking their arms together. He shoots him a look.

“Come on,” Magnus says, “let’s give them a show.”

For the next half hour, to the sound of a string-quartet Alec didn’t know would be here, he and Magnus go from guest to guest, exchanging pleasantries - which the warlock is incredibly good at. If Magnus notices the missing brooch on Alec’s chest, he doesn’t take the time to say.

While Magnus is entertaining a Clave member’s wife - who seems to have entirely forgotten about him being a Downworlder - Alec talks to her husband. He sounds self-righteous and arrogant, so Alec instantly dislikes him.

“So,” the man says, leaning in toward Alec, attempting to whisper with a voice that all but booms with every word, “how’s it been going, with the…”

Alec frowns when the man shoots a look toward Magnus.

“Has he been… you know? He’s got quite the…  _ reputation _ .”

For what might be the hundredth time in thirty minutes, Alec shuts his eyes, and tries to make his deep intake of breath as discreet as possible. The man leans in even further, and Alec wishes he’d fall on his nose.

“There’s nothing good to be done with them, anyway. To think you landed with the worst of them all…”

A boiling rage starts inside Alec, and he’s about to snap at the man when, out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Magnus’ silhouette walking away toward the entrance corridor. He doesn’t excuse himself before leaving the Clave member behind, and hurries his pace after Magnus.

“Magnus,” he says once he reaches him, putting a hand on the warlock’s shoulder. “Where are you going?”

Magnus spins around. He looks visibly upset, the same furrowed brows and tightened jaw than the night before.

“I need some fresh air,” he says, then begins taking another step toward the exit.

“No, wait, Magnus.”

This time, Alec doesn’t just touch his shoulder. He grabs at it, gently but firmly, and turns Magnus toward him in a smooth motion.

“Trust me when I say I want nothing more than for my right fist and that guy’s cheek to meet right now,” he lets out, not needing Magnus to say anything to  _ know _ . “But if you leave, he’ll win. They’ll all win.”

He hadn’t known he had this in him. He’s terrified by how very much like Jace he sounds.

“Do you have to be right all the time?,” Magnus asks, a sad smile on his lips. “Listen, Alec, I’m not scared of them. If anything, they should be scared of me. But they aren’t. They all look at me like I’m a freak, and that’s the one thing I can’t stand.”

There’s something Alec knows, and it’s that he hates to see Magnus look so vulnerable. It’s not right. That’s not the Magnus he knows.

“You want them to be scared of you?,” he asks, staring right into Magnus’ eyes, and the spark in them make him feel elevated. “Then stay.”

The slow progression of a smirk on Magnus’ lips is enough for Alec to forget about the Clave, to forget about his parents. Nothing matters but to make them regret ever doubting that this would work. That  _ they _ would work.

“What do you suggest, then?,” Magnus asks, peering over Alec’s shoulder to look at the crowd of Shadowhunters, talking and drinking and dancing.

Alec is struck by a flash of something that is nothing short of reckless and hazardous. But looking at Magnus, there’s a fire in him that begins burning, a fire that he’s never felt before, and all he can think about is  _ fuck it _ . He grabs Magnus’ hand, and leads them back into the hall, right as the quartet starts to play another waltz. He doesn’t leave time for Magnus to ask any questions; he turns, facing the warlock, puts his free hand on his waist, and starts to lead the dance.

Alec quickly realizes that he’s never done this before outside of a training room, with someone who isn’t Izzy. He’s staring at their feet, counting the steps, happy to see that he and Magnus move seamlessly together.  _ 1 2 3, 1 2 3, 1 2 3 _ …

“Alexander,” he hears Magnus say, surprised and breathless already.

He looks up to find the warlock staring at him, smiling brightly.

“You didn’t tell me about this,” the spark in his eyes even brighter than before. Alec only now realizes that Magnus’ eyes are possibly the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen.

“Shadowhunters training. Improves posture.”

He makes Magnus spin, and when the warlock comes back to him, taking his hand again, a look of wonder is splayed all over his face.

“Also good for that kind of nonsense,” Alec adds, referring to the party.

Magnus chuckles, and the sound is so light it makes Alec’s heart flip inside his chest.

“Apparently, it also shortens your sentences quite a bit.”

He looks up at Magnus again. He knows people are staring, are whispering in each other’s ears. He can clearly visualize the look on his parents’ faces. But Alec is too captivated by the crinkles at the sides of Magnus’ eyes, the smile on his lips, and the feeling of utter freedom inside his own chest. The dance is exhilarating. Magnus’ grip on Alec’s arm is as tight as Alec’s on Magnus’ waist. The whole thing feels like it’s enough to make the rest of the room disappear. He has not felt this way since he came out. It’s the exact same sensations. There is the weight of anxiousness on his shoulders caused by possible consequences, but then again, there’s the overwhelming sense of doing something good and right.

The song reaches its end too quickly for Alec’s liking. His heart is raging inside his chest, and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the dance itself, of the crowd undoubtedly judging them, or because of the slight flush on Magnus’ cheeks.

“Alec,” he hears his mom saying as she approaches, conversations starting up again all around them, a new waltz beginning to play, “what did you just-”

“Let’s eat,” he says, cutting her off intentionally for what may be the first time in his life.

There’s no mistaking the smile on Magnus’ face for anything other than pride.

 

**

 

Alec finds Magnus sitting in the kitchen, clutching a cup of tea. It’s almost one in the morning; the Clave is gone, his parents are gone, and Alec couldn’t be more relieved.

“What a night,” Magnus says, like he’d guessed Alec was just standing in the doorway.

Alec chuckles and comes in.

“It sure was.”

Magnus looks up at him and smiles.

“You did great tonight. That speech you made about us effectively working toward peace between Shadowhunters and Downworlders… Shut them all right up.”

Alec walks toward the counter, in dire need to fix himself a cup of coffee. Before he gets a chance to start the coffee machine up, Alec hears Magnus snap his fingers, and a hot cup appears in front of him. He smiles to himself.

“They expected a speech from me,” he says, turning to face Magnus and leaning against the kitchen’s work surface. “I don’t think they were ready for you to use your magic to get us delicious food.”

Alec takes a sip of his coffee, staring right at Magnus who’s shaking his head slightly, looking amused.

“That was nothing,” he says.

“You charmed them,” Alec counters. “They were impressed.”

He watches as Magnus stands up and walks toward him, each step as elegant as the one before, despite the obvious exhaustion the warlock must be feeling. Magnus comes to a stop right in front of Alec, crossing his hands behind his back.

“And  _ you _ didn’t tell me you dance. Clave members weren’t the only ones who were pleasantly surprised tonight.”

Alec can’t stop himself from blushing, doesn’t try to either. Magnus stands just a few 20 inches from him, close enough that if Alec wanted to, he could grab Magnus’ slender waist and dance with him again.

“I’ve never seen you this way before,” Magnus continues.

Alec wishes he could look away from the warlock’s intense stare, but he can’t. There’s something magnetic in Magnus’ eyes that he doesn’t know how to fight off, and that damn hypnotic spark he finds himself fascinated by. Magnus lifts his hand up, and for a moment, Alec thinks he might be reaching out to touch him, and he’s uncomfortable with how fine he would be with that. But Magnus’ hand goes to his ear cuff and adjusts it, before falling back to his side. It seems to break whatever spell Alec was under, because he looks away, everywhere but at Magnus, and takes a swig of his coffee.

“I’m exhausted,” he says, too fast. “You can help yourself to whatever you find here.”

Alec puts his cup down on the counter, skirts by Magnus and makes his way toward the door.

“Alexander,” Magnus calls out. 

Alec chews at his bottom lip, and forces himself not to look back.

“Thank you for the waltz.”

Alec shuts his eyes tight, tighter than he did the entire evening, and leaves without a word. The door closed behind him, he backs up against it and rubs at his face, exhaling loudly.  _ Don’t _ , he scolds himself, his stomach upside-down, his heart stuck in his throat.


End file.
